


By the Book

by AlphaStarr



Category: Ever After High
Genre: Awkward Flirting, F/F, Meddling Friends, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Post-Epic Winter, Romantic Comedy, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 04:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8876572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaStarr/pseuds/AlphaStarr
Summary: Unused to courtship with other girls, Apple White turns to what she knows best: studying. As the designated textbook for Advanced Wooing, furthermore having been written by Darling's great-uncle, The Art of Wooing by Prince Passion Charming seems to be the obvious pick.(Darling, while deeply flattered, would really rather just skip the formalities in favor of tea at the Mad Hatter's Haberdashery & Tea Shoppe.)





	1. Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

> it's about time i wrote another romantic comedy... ~~i swear i'm not angstfactor 24/7 ok~~ redacted from draft on 12/10. i accidentally angstfactor
> 
>  _The Art of Wooing_ , to most everyone's chagrin, is a canon textbook (via Dexter's signature doll diary). Its contents, however, have been wholly made up, though partially based on certain events in Suzanne Selfors' _A Semi-Charming Kind Of Life_.

It happened on a Tuesday, when Darling Charming was in the middle of doing push-ups.

(Really, she ought to have been studying for the Princessology exam the next day-- far more urgent than a daily exercise assignment-- but having transferred into Hero Training classes so very, very late in the year, she simply could not afford to fall behind. Besides... as a Charming, she'd been throneschooled in Princessology before she could even talk. She was pretty sure that she could ace the exam on _history of royal footwear_ in her sleep, if it came down to it.)

But what mattered more that what she was doing or where she'd been doing it was that a bouquet of flowers had come flying through her window.

This was kind of a big deal.

Prior to having woken Apple White with what she'd been repeatedly assured was True Love's Kiss, having a bouquet of flowers (or several) come flying through her window was a fairly common occurrence. Seeing Book End villagers or some of the many, many princes at Ever After High gazing lovelorn at the bottom of her balcony was even _more_ common.

However, ever since Blondie Lockes had seen to broadcasting via MirrorCast that it had been Darling's sort-of-kind-of-not-really-CPR which had woken Apple White from her magically-induced poison apple slumber, Darling's countless admirers had seemed to cease their appearances almost entirely. Sure, she'd gotten the occasional plea for a date or autograph, but the proposals, at least, had come to a screeching halt. Darling herself guessed that the reasoning behind this might be that her suitors didn't think they could compete with the future Queen of All Realms for the princess' affections.

 _Well_ , she thought, _they would be right on that account, though not for the reasons they believe_.

Despite having only spoken to Apple occasionally prior to the re-institution of the Dragon Games, there had always been a part of her which had admired Apple's poise, her care for her citizens, her wholehearted devotion to duty. There were times where Darling wished she could be _satisfied_ with destiny like that, instead of nearly bored to tears. Plus... well, she was kind of adorable, Darling admitted to herself. And it didn't hurt that Apple had already been approved by the Charming Committee for Acceptable Future Spouses back when their parents had thought she and _Daring_ would share a destiny.

Darling herself was still yet uncertain what it meant for the both of them. There had been rumors dancing around of whether or not their "true love" was romantic or platonic, or even whether the Evil Queen's poisoned apple had truly been _the_ apple of the fairytale. Still... she was more than open to exploring the option. Maybe it wasn't true love at first sight, exactly, but it was definitely a little bit of a crush, and Darling was still trying to work up the courage to ask her out for a Hocus Latte sometime. Having never been the one to do the asking out before, it was certainly a more anxious undertaking than she'd anticipated.

Of course, there were always those suitors who refused to take the hint that Darling was _not interested_ in them, and it seemed her mysterious bouquet-giver was one of them. With the much put-upon sigh of someone who'd been rejecting proposals for years, Darling stuck her head out the window, not even bothering to put a blouse over her workout clothes.

Apple White waved up at her from the ground, seeming almost uncharacteristically shy. Her fair, round cheeks bore a subtle dusting of apple-red flush.

"Um," she began, trying a smile, "Hi?"

"Um," Darling reddened, taken aback by how utterly sweet Apple seemed in that moment. She awkwardly held up the bouquet which had been tossed in her window. "Is this... yours?"

"Well, it's... _from_ me," Apple tried to explain. There was the sound of rustling pages. "Now, let's see... object thrown, check. Attention garnered, check..."

It was in that moment Darling noticed she was holding a _checklist_. And though Darling herself had never seen this particular checklist, she was completely positive it contained a certain progression of events that Darling was _extremely_ familiar with, having been on the receiving end countless times.

"Apple..." Darling hesitated, barely above a whisper, not accustomed to speaking her mind as it came.

"... which means next should be the song I prepared!" Apple smiled up at her obliviously, Darling's quiet voice lost to the wind.

"Apple!" Darling exclaimed more loudly. "I, um, I have to go. I'm, uh, late for an armor fitting! Maybe later?"

"I..." Apple tried to reply, but Darling vanished within the next moment. She visibly deflated, "Okay. Later."

She tried terribly not to seem as if her feelings were hurt-- as a princess who'd been raised on such teachings herself, Apple knew exactly what one ought to say if a courtship gesture was unwanted, but you did not wish to hurt the other party's feelings. Darling, as always, had executed the technique perfectly, and Apple would have hated to mar that ever-essential gentleness by seeming overly disappointed.

There were harsher ways she could have been let down, Apple sighed, at last forlornly flipping through the pages of her color-coded checklist, Apple returned to the front. Decisively, she crossed off the topic labeled "Chapter One: The Perfect Balcony Serenade." She simply didn't know where she'd gone wrong, particularly when she'd taken such thorough notes.

"I'm so sorry, guys," Apple turned and solemnly addressed the veritable army of songbirds she'd recruited for the event, who'd been ever-so excited to help their Princess White woo her fairytale true-love. "I guess we'll have to take a rain check on that concert."

She was met with a fleet of disappointed twitters and chirps, a white dove coming up to nuzzle her cheek in order to assure her that not all was lost. It cooed comfortingly.

"You know what? You're totally right," Apple pet the dove before lifting her finger so it could fly away. A determined expression set into her face, "I can't give up completely... true love is royally important to me, so I have to at least give it another try! I mean... we've already shared true love's kiss, sort of. All right, it's time to go back to studying! Thank you all ever so much for coming out to help."

Apple smiled and bade her songbird friends a sweet farewell, her mood significantly lightened in her optimism. Then, as they left, her expression grew serious again as she made her way back towards the library. True love itself was at stake here, she knew, and she would learn everything that she would need to know in order to obtain it.

* * *

"Um, Apple?" Briar Beauty looked at her friend askew, faintly perplexed. "You know that's not the Princessology hextbook, right?"

"I'll review my notes for the test later tonight," Apple assured her friend. "Besides, this is more urgent."

"More urgent?" Briar gave pause in the middle of her dancing, her study-party being themed around a class shoeswap. She toed off one of the Dancing-Princess-styled shoes they'd be tested on tomorrow. "You have never, ever considered _anything_ more urgent than a test."

"Well, it is one of the easier topics," Ashlynn Ella slid herself on the couch next to Apple. "Except for the in-test essay about the Dorothy's Slippers Controversy. I just don't know how I'll make the required word-count on time."

"Easy for you, you mean," Briar ribbed Ashlynn. "Your mom is _Cinderella_ \-- you were practically taught the history of royal footwear as a nursery rhyme!"

"There's Cinderella's Glass Slippers, the Red Velvet Shoes, the Swan Lake ballerina's slippers, and all Twelve Dancing Princess ballet flats," Apple recited, not even pausing in her note-taking. "The trick to getting them all in order is to memorize them by color and the pattern of the wear on the soles as opposed to just size, since princesses three, six, seven, and ten are all size eights. I wrote my essay on the Dorothy's Slippers Controversy last night and I have all three-hundred required words memorized. I can point you to some of the hextbook passages I used, if you'd like."

"Okay, so maybe the Princessology exam isn't so urgent for you," Briar relented. "Still, it's not like my BFFA to _not study_ the night before a Princessology exam. What book are you even reading?"

"Wait, I recognize the cover of that one," Ashlynn narrowed her eyes. " _The Art of Wooing_ by Prince Passion Charming, 5th edition hextbook! Hunter's always asking me to help him study from it... though _I_ always thought he was more than romantic enough all on his own."

"The hextbook for Advanced Wooing?" Briar frowned for a moment before her expression lit up in realization. She grinned teasingly, "Wow, Apple, I didn't know you liked her _that_ much."

"Shhh!" Apple buried her nose further into the book, glancing furtively around the room. Fortunately, the other students seemed too occupied with Meeshell Mermaid's rendition of a memorization-song of alphabetized shoe styles to pay them much attention (if any student in Ever After needed help with this test, it was Meeshell, who hadn't even _had_ feet until recently).

"No, I think that's totally sweet," Ashlynn whispered with a giggle. "I'm so happy for you, Apple. I really hope it works out."

"Well, I've never, you know... been _in courtship_ with another princess," Apple fiddled nervously with a page. "I'm not even sure the casual date thing I had with Daring even counts as courtship itself. Of course, royal protocol states that I should acquire the princess' favor, attain a quest to acquire her parents' favor, and proceed on to happily-ever-after, but..."

"I'm sure you'll do great," Briar assured her, patting her on the back. She glanced to where someone was trying to explain to Meeshell that Cinderella's slippers were just regular glass, not sea-glass. "I'd better go pull up the karaoke screen... it sounds like we're going to be here a while."

"I'd better go back to the study party, too," Ashlynn gently patted one of Apple's shoulders. "I still have yet to figure out my stance on the Dorothy's Slippers Controversy... I haven't even decided on whether I think the ruby version or the silver version is the real one, much less whether they count as royal footwear or commoner footwear!"

"The ruby and silver versions are from different eras of retelling, so they're both technically _real_ because they both existed," Apple advised. "But if you ask me, only the silver slippers count as royal footwear, since the first Silver Era Dorothy married Princess Ozma, but the precedent for Ruby Era Dorothies is to return to the family farm."

"That's a royally clever point of view," Ashlynn clasped her hands together. "I don't know if I agree with it completely, but I think I understand my own position much better than I did before. You'll do great on the test tomorrow... and I'm sure you-know-who is just going to _love_ whatever you've got planned for her!"

"I definitely hope so," Apple smiled and patted her textbook. "Prince Passion Charming's methods are scientifically proven to be the most romantic of them all! I'm sure I'll find something that works."

Ashlynn squeezed her hands, beaming. "Don't hesitate to ask me if you need any advice... I know that hextbook almost as well as Hunter does, by now. I'm incredibly happy for you, Apple... finding your one true love is the most enchanting thing in the world."

"I know," Apple chuckled back. "I think I'm just going to finish this chapter and go to sleep... let Briar know for me?"

"Of course," Ashlynn easily agreed, and hurried back into the party hollering, "Guys! Don't forget that Puss-in-Boots shoes qualify as _nobility_ footwear because he gets knighted! Don't pin them to the commoner-footwear wall!"

Apple sighed and glanced over the Advanced Wooing hextbook's advice on standing out when you were in an entire crowd of adoring princes. Quite frankly, the entire chapter was inapplicable for Apple, who tended to always stand out by virtue of her own lineage, and never could manage _midair somersaults_ or any of the other strange, ridiculous-sounding attention-grabbing feats. It was contradictory to what she'd been taught as a princess, that her demure beauty and goodness of heart itself would draw others to her... not this sort of fancy showmanship.

"This," she decided, "Is a royally confusing book."

And so she finished the chapter, dusted off her skirts, and stood, taking her notes with her back to her dorm. Briar's study parties were usually royally great for getting work done and thinking, but maybe, just this once, the topic of Apple's study required less Pin-the-Tale-on-the-Answer-Key and more peace and quiet.

She found her roommate Raven Queen tapping her MirrorPad screen so furiously that Apple thought it might break, but wearing headphones, at least. That was good enough for Apple, and so she settled into her plushly-padded desk-throne with her textbook, sighing deeply.

Raven glanced up from her game screen, which displayed that ever-irritating 'Game Over' page, and set down her headphones.

"So," she began. "This afternoon didn't go as planned?"

"Is it that obvious?" Apple slumped down over her notes. "She said she was late for an armor fitting appointment. I never got as far as singing."

"Maybe she really _was_ late for an armor fitting," Raven attempted to assure her, sitting perched on her own bed. "I mean... isn't this month's royal-theme-holiday-thing the Coat of Arms Parade that the Charmings arrange?"

"Well, of course it is, but Darling doesn't usually--" Apple cut herself off as she realized what she was about to say. "Well... she doesn't _usually_ participate in the marching, but now that she's been recognized as a _hero_..."

"Exactly," Raven agreed. "Besides, it's not like she can just wear armor from other years, like Daring or Dex-- she probably doesn't even _have_ a set in her size with the family arms thing on it."

"Actually," Apple brightened. "Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure Daring, at least, always takes this opportunity to have his armor refashioned or resized. It takes forever after to wait for him to get ready."

"See?" Raven insisted. "Totally not weird at all. She probably just got busy and forgot she was late, and when she saw you, she just... sort of remembered? Because you're royal-y and dutiful-y?"

"That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me, Raven," Apple giggled a little. "I royally appreciate what you're trying to do. I'm just so... well, it's just that I've never been the one doing the asking-out before."

"Have you tried, I don't know, walking up to her after class and just asking her out?" Raven suggested.

"Oh no, I definitely can't," Apple looked shocked by the very prospect. "That would be weird... we'd only ever spoken occasionally until we both joined the Dragon Riding team. And... I'm pretty sure that most of the time she was pretending to love her destiny as much as I love mine. Thinking back on all of the silly things I babbled on about under that assumption... I feel so _foolish_. I guess I barely know her at all."

"Then maybe find a time where you can learn what she _actually_ thinks?" Raven shrugged. "You know... like a regular date?"

"I appreciate the advice, Raven, but I think I'd better stick to the classics," Apple sighed and tapped her textbook. "What about you?"

Raven seemed perplexed. "What about me?"

"How did _Dexter_ ask you out?" Apple seemed suddenly very attentive, posed to take notes.

"What makes you think Dexter stuck to the classics?" Raven flushed.

"Well, he's a Charming," Apple cocked her head to the side. "The classics aren't just in their family... their family sets the _precedent_ for the classics."

"It was a letter," Raven admitted, trying not to go into excessive detail lest she be questioned about the mishap that had ensued from his unclear signature.

"Ooh! That's definitely a good one," Apple flipped the pages of her textbook. "Here it is... Chapter Five: Wooing by the Written Word, Part One: Prose."

Raven shook her head, fondly exasperated. That was definitely Apple for you-- the type of girl who thought everything had an answer in a book. Flicking closed the Call of Beauty tab on her MirrorPad, Raven opened up her hexting program. There was only one thing she could reasonably do in this situation.

* * *

> Raven Queen: hey, dex
> 
> Dexter Charming: Hey, Raven! What's going on?
> 
> Raven Queen: apple's... being weird. i thought you might be in the same boat, especially if you've spoken to your sister lately.
> 
> Dexter Charming: Surprisingly... yeah. She usually has to be dragged to family Coat of Arms Day fittings, but she showed up almost on time today. It's a little unnerving, actually.
> 
> Raven Queen: do you know why? :/ i'm trying to figure out if it has anything to do with apple acting so strange.
> 
> Dexter Charming: Well... I have suspicions. Unfortunately, it's nothing I can really tell now... mom and dad are arguing with the blacksmith about helmet specifications.
> 
> Raven Queen: that sounds wicked scary... you go ahead and rescue that poor blacksmith. hext you later?
> 
> Dexter Charming: Definitely! Hext you later. :)

* * *

And it was on this note that Dexter pocketed his MirrorPhone and intervened, "Mom, dad... I really, _really_ don't think Darling's helmet needs to be completely backless for it to show off her hair. I mean... that kind of defeats the purpose of wearing a helmet."

"Dexter, dear, your sister's hair is one of her most charming assets," Queen Charming attempted to explain to him, speaking slowly as if he were five years old all over again. "Goodness knows she'll need every charm she can muster if she hopes to look presentable in _full-body armor_."

Disapproval was written all over King Charming's face. "Perhaps we'd better forego a helmet altogether. You, smithy! How soon can we have a new tiara made... perhaps one that looks similar to a helm visor?"

Darling looked as if she were about to scoff at that. Instead, she frowned demurely and replied, "We only just decided on a filigree pattern ladylike enough to be acceptable for display. I would hate for that difficult decision to have gone to waste."

More than likely, Dexter thought, she just wanted to be able to wear her new helmet in case she actually had to go into real battle.

"Queen White's dragon-riding tiaras had a wonderfully ladylike design," Queen Charming gently patted her daughter's shoulder. "And they are charmed to prevent concussions. Perhaps we should get you something from that line?"

"There is no need," Darling assured her, her shoulders stiffening. "I already have a dragon-riding tiara, and unlike a helmet, it offers no protection from, for example, sharp objects like a lance or a sword."

"It is a good thing you won't need such protection," King Charming huffed. "Because your mother and I have agreed that you aren't entering the joust or the swordsmanship contest!"

"But father--!"

Dexter sighed, and slowly backed away from his family. Daring was still admiring his newly lacquered ceremonial sword hilt.

The younger brother fell in beside the blacksmith. He apologized, "Sorry about my family. I'm sure you know they can get a little... interesting."

"Do not worry, young Mr. Charming... your own helm will be custom-sized and fit with the appropriate eyeglass lenses, as usual," the blacksmith smiled slightly at the middle Charming. "Regardless of what your family requests of me this year."

Dexter smiled a little bit back. "I have an idea about how to fix the hair argument, if you want to hear it?"

"I think I had better, if I have no desire to stay here all night," there was a twinkle in the blacksmith's eye as Dexter discreetly whispered the specifications in his ear.

"Is that, um, doable?" Dexter hesitantly questioned.

"Most assuredly," the blacksmith patted his shoulder. He cleared his throat and drew the rest of the family's attention in his direction, "King and Queen Charming, I do believe I have a solution that can satisfy us all."

"Well?" King Charming demanded. "What is it?"

"I can forge a helmet with a very small hole at the top, towards the back of the head where normally a feather would be placed. I would, if you would permit me to, set this small opening with a ring of shining white pearls, covered on the inside with a piece of cross-cut white leather charmed so that nothing harmful may pass through," the blacksmith set the image splendidly. "From this opening, our Darling Charming may pass through a ponytail tied high upon her head, so that the hair spills out over the back of the helmet, and remove the tie with utmost confidence it may stay in place. Then, when she removes the helm at the end of this parade, her hair will cascade flawlessly over her shoulders without having once impaired her vision throughout the event."

Dexter watched his family's faces. He watched the way his father grinned the way he did when he knew there was glory to be had, when he knew how much admiration his family could garner. He watched his mother's eyelashes flutter, taken completely by the beauteous aesthetics such a scene would bring. He watched Daring, from the background, give it his seal of approval in the form of a thumbs-up, probably thinking no further than "that sounds cool."

He watched Darling's slightly devious smirk as she realized the suggestion, while offering nearly complete protection, also freed her hair so that she could use her magic touch even while fully armored. He watched as it dawned upon her that she'd been given a perfect opportunity to toss her hair in that special time-altering way and hurry over to the competitors' arena before anyone could stop her.

Dexter spoke first. "Well,  _I_ like that idea."

It was nice, he thought, to have everyone in his family agree with him for once. He was well aware that the idea wouldn't have been given its due attention if he'd brought it up himself.

The blacksmith seemed visibly relieved that they were able to conclude the miserable argument with all due haste, and claimed that it was high time he get to work on the new designs if the Charmings wished to have them done by Coat of Arms Day. Thus, the Charmings departed their regular family smithy, both parents returning home to their castle and all three children taking a valet carriage back to school.

Surprisingly, it was Daring who brought it up, "So, Darling, it isn't like you to show up to an armor-fitting on time."

"Maybe it's because this time, I was actually _getting armor_ ," Darling replied sweetly.

"And you're sure it doesn't have anything to do with _Apple White_?" Dexter rubbed his chin thoughtfully, trying to parse through the vague texts he'd received from Raven.

Something in Darling's gaze darkened, "Who told you about Apple?"

"Now, now, there's no need to be hasty," Daring interrupted. "Darling, don't be too upset with Dexter for bringing up your obvious affections for our friend Apple. I assure you, though I was at some point uncomfortable with the prospect of my future, my happiness at my sister and my good friend being true loves far outweighs my misery and the three existential crises I've had since then. Don't let it be _me_ holding you back."

"It wasn't you," Darling groaned. "It was just... this afternoon, in the middle of push-ups, someone threw a bouquet of flowers into my room."

Dexter and Daring froze as if someone had dropped ice-cubes down their back. The exchanged a Look.

Dexter swallowed. Barely above a whisper, he asked, "It isn't that... _they_... have come back?"

"It _isn't_ , right?" Daring squeaked, biting his nails in anxiety.

"No. I have exactly _one_ suitor now," Darling shook her head, recalling the many sleepless nights she and her brothers had spent literally beating suitors from her door. "And... it's Apple."

"I am most relieved to hear that," Daring released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

Dexter shifted uncomfortably, looking even more deeply troubled by this, "I... was hexting Raven earlier. She said that Apple was acting _weird_. It doesn't happen to have anything to do with her, um, apparently tossing a bouquet in your window, does it?"

Darling pointedly avoided making eye contact. "... maybe."

"Dearest little sister," Daring put a hand on her shoulder and looked at her in the way all older brothers look at their siblings when they believe a mistake has been made. "I know mother and father taught you to deftly dispatch unwanted suitors, but one does not simply treat Princess Apple White, the future Queen of All Realms and your fairytale-destined One True Love as one treats an _unwanted suitor_."

"Yes, well, maybe if someone had taught me how to receive a _wanted_ suitor, I wouldn't have just blurted out that I was late for an armor fitting," Darling glared determinedly at her lap. "She had a checklist, you know. It started with throwing something to get my attention, and then it progressed into preparing to launch into a serenade..."

Daring shuddered. Dexter muffled a bout of laughter in his sleeve.

"How can you think that's funny?" Daring looked affronted on their sister's behalf. "This means that Apple found _that book_."

"You kind of have to admit, it's a little bit funny," Dexter swallowed his next peal of laughter. "I mean, Darling's always hated suitors who take great-uncle Passion's books literally... don't you think it's a little ironic that her fairytale-chosen true love is _one of them_?"

"A little _too_ ironic, don't you think?" Darling rolled her eyes at her twin. She sighed, "At least she was royally cute trying to do it... I'm just worried she'll take it too far, you know?"

Daring winced, "Chapter Seven: 'How to Slay Monsters and Impress Your Maiden'?"

Darling crossed her arms and lowered her eyes, "... I don't wanna talk about it. I still feel royally bad that it happened."

"You know that the local good-witch cured all his burn wounds," Dexter's expression became solemn once more. "I mean, he lost his arm, but did you know that he's engaged to the witch's daughter now? It's all over their MyChapter pages."

"I _said_ I don't want to talk about it," Darling frowned, drawing her brows together indelicately. "It's annoying when people think sending me love letters every day is a good idea. Serenading outside my window is only obnoxious. Public declarations of love are just embarrassing. And of course I feel bad about accepting expensive gifts!"

She heaved an enormous sigh. Dexter sensed there was more to it than that, though.

"But?" he prodded.

Darling lowered her voice to a whisper, "But I never ever want anyone to get really, truly _hurt_ because of me again. I hate those books. I hate it when people think they're the end-all-be-all of how to court a Charming. But I _especially_ hate it when things go too far."

"Don't worry about it, little sis," Daring elbowed her gently and winked. "Your brave and heroic older brother-- though definitely no longer her one true love-- would never let anything bad happen to Apple White! Saving damsels, of course, being one of my many talents."

"Besides, as long as you give a definitive answer of yes or no, I'm kind of... actually, I'm pretty much totally sure Apple's smart enough to get the hint," Dexter assured her. He paused, "You... _are_ saying yes in this hypothetical scenario, right? I mean, um... Blondie wasn't just reporting empty gossip again, was she?"

"I mean," Darling flushed. "She's nice. I wouldn't be averse to a date or two."

Dexter exhaled in relief. "That's good. I mean... because I hate to assume things, not because..."

As if something had only just occurred to her, Darling frowned suddenly. "You can't tell Raven."

"Who? Raven Queen?" Daring seemed perplexed by the abrupt change in topic. "What does she have to do with this?"

Darling tried to explain, "Because she and Dexter hext like, seventy times a day. Plus, she's Apple's roommate... and I don't want her to know just because _Raven told her_. That's the coward's way out."

Daring shrugged, "Well, no Charming has ever been a coward! The reason, at least, is admirable."

"I think Raven already knows," Dexter shook his head, then pushed up his glasses. "But if you don't want me to say that you admitted to it, then I won't, don't worry."

"I royally appreciate it," Darling patted his arm.

"Regardless!" Daring peered out the window. "We shall be at school posthaste. Do you need an escort to your rooms?"

Darling rolled her eyes, "I'll be fine, tough guy. I make it all the way up to the dorms all on my own all the time."

"Hey," Dexter began. "Does anyone know why the carriage just stopped all of a sudden?"

Darling rolled down the window and poked her head out. She groaned, "Oh no."

Dexter leaned his head back and squinted, "There's no way... we've been gone for less than five hours!"

"Yes, you see," Daring gestured to the truly enormous pile of letters spilling out of Darling's bedroom balcony. " _That's_ why I was asking. Are you sure you don't require an escort?"

* * *

"Thank you so much for the help," Apple White beamed as she leaned over to clasp a dwarf's hand. "I have no idea how I would have gotten all this done without you!"

The secretary dwarf nodded deftly. "It is of utmost importance to Queen Snow and your father that you secure your one true love and live happily for the rest of your days. We were more than happy to print off several thousand copies of your love-letter and ensure that each page was perfumed, enveloped, and delivered to its intended destination. Is your wrist all right after signing all of those?"

"Oh, don't worry about me," Apple hurriedly assured him. "I have several magically-linked pens from mom's office line for busy executives... plus, I'm ambidextrous! I only had to sign 531 times per hand, which is only a little bit more than usual for an autographing session."

"Nonetheless, your mother doesn't want you exhausting yourself. She hears you have a Princessology exam tomorrow," the secretary dwarf held up a pair of heavily cushioned wrist braces. "I'm sure you remember these from the time you over-strained yourself at the pre-Legacy Year autographing session. They should remove any lingering soreness or signs of carpal tunnel if you can keep them on overnight."

"Oh, Secretary Rem," Apple sighed. "I appreciate this, I really do, but... well, they're just so bulky. And... they're not exactly an approved wardrobe choice..."

The secretary lowered his glasses and gazed up at the princess with big, dewy eyes. "Please? Just so Queen Snow won't worry?"

"Well... all right," Apple reluctantly acquiesced, letting Secretary Rem strap her wrists into the braces. "But they're coming off first thing tomorrow morning... it's so fairy uncomfortable sleeping in these!"

"Until tomorrow morning," Secretary Rem agreed, finishing the last velcro strap. "If you need any further help, give us a call, all right? Remember that your parents are rooting for you, and all of us dwarves, too."

"Thank you so much, Secretary Rem," Apple smiled down at him. "Send mom and dad my love. And make sure your dwarves rest up after this, all right?"

"Will do, princess," Rem turned away from her and hollered at the rest of the dwarves that had gathered there. "Let's move on out, boys! It's naptime!"

The dwarves scrambled away a moment later, and Apple, feeling significantly better about this second attempt, cheerfully made her way down to the castleteria for dinner.

"Oh, Apple!" Blondie Lockes was by her side in a split second. "Whatever after happened to your wrists? Did you break them in some death-defying feat?"

"Well, actually, I was just signing letters," Apple informed her. "And they're not--"

"Humphrey! Start rolling!" she hollered. Blondie had a microphone shoved in her face a split-second later, "So it's true, then, that the letters in Darling Charming's dorm room are from you?"

"Well... yes, that's true," Apple tried a smile. She waved a little.

"This just in: Apple White announces her intended courtship of Darling Charming in a big way," Blondie hoisted one of Apple's elbows up so that the camera had a better view. "She'll stop at nothing to make sure her feelings are known, even if she has to break her wrists to do it!"

The MirrorCast was interrupted by the sound of a tray clattering onto the floor, silverware tinkling against the tiles.

Darling's eyes were wide with shock as she stared, horrified, at the braces on Apple's wrists.

Blondie dropped Apple's arm unceremoniously, hurrying over to the other half of her latest scoop.

"And here she is, viewers, Darling Charming herself," Blondie helpfully shut Darling's agape jaw. "Darling, do you have anything to say about this? Tell us all how lovestruck you must be, knowing to which extents our very own Apple White will go to for your affection!"

"I, um," Darling's eyes flickered quickly between Apple's wrist brace and her face, "No comment."

And then, like a flash, she was gone.

"Blondie," Apple sighed, gliding into the frame. "My wrists aren't broken... my dwarves were just being a little overprotective. Actually, I'm not even really all that sore. The braces are just to prevent carpal tunnel, and I'm only going to need them for one night."

"Breaking news!" Blondie moved into the camera so that she took up the entire frame. "New reports have come out that Apple White's wrists aren't broken-- but they are at serious risk of developing carpal tunnel. Will she be fine after just one night of wearing braces? Stay tuned to find out!"

Apple gave Humphrey a pleading look, begging him to cut the feed. He did so, much to her supreme relief.

"I'm, uh, going to go charge your MirrorPad," Humphrey announced. "You know. Just in case something important comes out later. You definitely don't want to be out of battery."

"Thanks, Humphrey," Blondie beamed, practically feeling her viewership rise. "Don't go too far, though! I can feel a story coming..."

Apple sighed and took a tray full of dinner, shaking her head as she sat down in her usual seat.

Briar gently sat a hand on her shoulder. "Rough day?"

"I'm sure it'll get better," Apple attempted to smile.

"It's all right if you've had a hard time," Ashlynn placed a hand on her other shoulder. "You don't have to hide it."

"It's been a little... _less than_ fairest-day-of-them-all," Apple admitted. "Maybe I should put down the wooing textbook for a couple of hours and study a little more for good, reliable Princessology."

"You can help us refine our essays," Briar grinned, knowing just what would lighten her friend's mood. "Then, we can raid each others' closets to choose test-taking outfits!"

"I _do_ love to pick out test-taking outfits," Apple smiled a little.

"We can coordinate shoes," Ashlynn beamed back, doing her best to keep Apple's mind off what seemed like not just one, but two rejections.

Apple took a deep breath. She felt a grin slide across her face.

"You guys are the most fableous friends ever after."

* * *

"Darling, dear, you can't hide from this forever," Rosabella Beauty soothingly rubbed what she presumed was Darling's shoulder.

"Yes, I can," Darling argued, her voice muffled under the covers. "Besides, I'm not _trying_ to hide forever-- that's the coward's way out. I'm hiding _temporarily_. Like, maybe just an hour or two."

"I'm upset about the environmental damage, too," Rosabella assured her. "It _is_ a lot of paper, and if some of it blows away in the wind or an animal accidentally eats it..."

Darling made a faint noise of irritation, "That's not making me feel any better about it."

Rosabella sighed and lifted one of the many, many letters that spilled across the floor. "Have you  _read_ one of these yet?"

Darling poked her head out from under her bedding. "Should I?"

"I mean, that is _generally_ what one does when they receive a love letter. I'll just leave one right here for when you're ready," Rosabella carefully placed the letter within arm's reach before turning away. When she head the sound of a seal being broken, a grin spread across her face-- it was kind of funny, she thought, how very much Darling could be like a shy animal, afraid to eat from a princess' hand.

Darling hastily unwound the parchment, printed tidily in Apple's favored font. Her eyes clung curiously to the text, eager to learn exactly what Apple thought of her. Her heart thumped.

Dear Darling, the note began...

> I am ever so sorry that my attentions this afternoon were unwelcome. It was royally unfairest of me to presume that you would be available at such an hour, particularly when the event of Coat-of-Arms Day presses upon your familial responsibilities. I hope that this letter, which can be more readily read at a time of your leisure, finds you well. ☺
> 
> I only wish to express how much I admire you and wish to know you better. The protocol for letters of this variety is to spend the first several sentences extolling your beauty... but I'm sure you've already received plenty of other letters which have done that, possibly more eloquently than I ever could. I know a lot of the ones I receive start out that way. Usually, they finish that way, too. I _do_ think you're royally pretty, but I admire so much more about you than just the way you look.
> 
> I think it's amazing how brave you are. I can only imagine how much courage it must have taken to show all of us that you were the White Knight of Wonderland... and that's not even counting all of the heroic things you did for us _before_ then. I was terrified of having to cross swords with the Red Knight, but then you swept in and saved us! Even before then, I can scarcely fathom how much courage it must have taken to find the time to practice such things, especially since your parents are so royally traditional.
> 
> I guess you can say that I admire your strength, in that respect... how you always stand up for what you believe in. I was royally impressed by the way you supported our friend Raven during the entire Evil Queen debacle, even when my own actions were less than fairest. I don't think I ever thanked you for forgiving me for that incident, but I hope you know that I'm grateful beyond words.
> 
> You're really, truly, hextremely smart, too. Even though anyone can tell that you're gallant and lion-hearted from a glance, I don't think you get enough credit for being clever as well. It isn't even just that you have good grades in class or that you have a good memory. Even when I thought nobody else was going to show up to research for the school newspaper article on Wonderland, you were there, and you were so excited to learn more. I felt like even if it would be only you and I working together, we could get all of the research done.
> 
> I think that maybe that was the moment I started to admire you, even though I didn't know it yet-- that moment where I thought that even though nobody else was interested in the idea, you still wanted to learn.
> 
> Though I used to think you were as happy with your destiny as I've always been, I like the Darling Charming that I see now just as much, if not more. I really hope we can get to know each other better sometime-- and this time, you don't have to pretend to be anyone you aren't.
> 
> Sincerely yours,
> 
>       

"Well, um," Darling could feel her cheeks redden as she lowered the page. "That's definitely not your average love-letter."

"I'm glad you liked it, at least," Rosabella smiled, carefully fishing up the last of the pages that had fallen from their dorm room balcony. "Hopefully that should prevent any further littering or paper waste. Do you want me to put these anywhere?"

"Oh, wherever there's room is fine," Darling hastily glanced around their dorm. She winced as she realized that the letters didn't exactly leave much space. "I'm royally sorry about the mess."

"It's all right... it's still tidier than the flowers that came at the beginning of the school year," Rosabella assured her. She was about to ask for more details about the note when she was interrupted by a knock. "I'll get it!"

She was met with Daring Charming's exceedingly charming grin. "May we come in?"

Dexter waved at her from behind his brother, "We brought food, since Darling left the castleteria without eating dinner. Is she okay?"

"I'm fine, guys," Darling pushed the door open and invited both of her brothers in. "I would've gone down to the kitchens to eat, you know... or at least ordered something from Book End delivery."

"They were serving angel cake for dessert," Dexter lifted a takeaway box from the bag. "Raspberry glaze."

"Nevermind," Darling seized it from his hand and began tucking into it voraciously.

"I had no idea she sent _this_ many letters," Daring lifted one and curiously sniffed it. "Perfumed as well."

"Isn't it terrible?" Rosabella frowned. "Deforestation is one of the major sources of habitat loss for forest animals... I only just managed to finish picking up what portions of it were litter."

"Actually," Dexter interjected. "I think it's a pretty smart gift."

"Deforestation is _not_ smart," Rosabella thwapped him on the nose with an errant scroll.

"I meant that Apple's signature is royally valuable on the MirrorNet," Dexter rubbed at his nose to make sure it wasn't broken. "There are a lot of potions that call for authentic love letters, too. You could probably pull a small country out of poverty just by selling these on Hexlist or eBroom."

"Besides," Darling added in Apple's defense. "Wasn't Queen Snow the one who passed the law that lumberjacks and huntsmen have to plant two trees for every one they cut down?"

"That's still not the same... animal habitats are usually built in _well-established_ trees," Rosabella chided. She hesitated, "Still... about that small country..."

"We'll find see to it that an equal value in gold goes to some charity," Daring waved his hand. "The Charmings, after all, are _not_ lacking in funds."

"You can't just choose a charity at random," Rosabella shook her head. She tried to explain, "They all have different goals... and not all of them go about achieving their goals ethically."

"Have you, um, read the letter yet?" Dexter did his best to subtly re-direct the conversation. "I mean... did you like it?"

"It was... kind of adorable," Darling paused in the midst of her eating. "Maybe it was the best letter I've ever gotten. I just... feel bad about the environment things, and the whole... Apple breaking her wrists thing."

"Apple _didn't_ break her wrists," Dexter insisted. "The braces are a preemptive measure against carpal tunnel and cramps. I got Blondie to fix the-- well, I mean, I asked _Daring_ to get Blondie to fix the story."

"You, little sis, have been saved by a one-on-one interview with Daring Charming," Daring elbowed her lightly. "I told Blondie that I was sure you'd only been shocked and flattered by the attentions, and that you would have an answer once you recovered."

"Gee, thanks," Darling rolled her eyes, wiping a bit of raspberry glaze from her fingers with a spare handkerchief. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say if she asks tomorrow!"

"How about... the truth?" Rosabella arched an eyebrow at her roommate.

"Shouldn't Apple be the first to know if I...?" Darling flushed, unable to say it out loud.

"Well, her dorm room _is_ just down the hall," Rosabella reminded.

"Anyways, hall curfew's going to be soon," Dexter pushed up his glasses and checked his watch. "Daring and I should probably get back to the boys' dorms on the other side of school. You're all right here?"

"Of course I am," Darling seemed affronted by the very idea that she might _not_ be.

"We'll catch you later, then, little sis," Daring smiled at her. He winked, "And of course, you too, Rosabella."

Rosabella chuckled and shook her head, "Sure thing, guys. See you tomorrow."

Once her brothers had departed the dorm, Darling went on a quick search for her MirrorPhone. She may not be moonlighting as a damsel-in-distress any longer, but Darling knew that it was only good manners to check in with a friend before dropping by for a visit...

* * *

> Darling Charming: hey Raven is it ok if I drop by soon
> 
> Raven Queen: that depends... would you be dropping by to visit me, or to visit apple?
> 
> Darling Charming: you know that ur a wicked awesome friend! but I have sthing I have to talk to Apple abt
> 
> Raven Queen: sorry to break it to you, but my roommate's at briar and ashlynn's right now. something about coordinating outfits for a princessology test? not sure, since i don't take that class. is the thing you have to talk about urgent?
> 
> Darling Charming: its not like... SUPER urgent
> 
> Raven Queen: should i let her know you were thinking of stopping by?
> 
> Darling Charming: its ok Ill talk to her tomorrow
> 
> Raven Queen: all right, if you're sure.
> 
> Darling Charming: thx Raven... charm you later!

* * *

Raven Queen rolled her eyes and tapped out of the hexting app on her MirrorPad. "All right, Apple, I didn't tell her you were here. Are you happy?"

Apple blew her nose in a handkerchief and nodded. "You're the best roomie ever, Raven, and totally the complete opposite of evil. I royally appreciate it."

"Why are you avoiding her right now, anyways?" Raven quirked an eyebrow at her roommate. "Weren't you excited about the letter thing like, maybe two hours ago?"

"That was before I got rejected on live-feed MirrorCast," Apple shook her head and daubed away the streaky rivulets of teary, smudged mascara around her eyes. It was no easy task with her wrists still braced. "Besides... I can't let my future Princess Charming see me like this. It was bad enough that I broke down in the middle of Ashlynn's closet."

"Since when was 'no comment' a rejection?" Raven flopped backwards into bed. "I mean, Blondie even interviewed Daring, who said that she was just a little overwhelmed." 

"In all the time I've known her, whether she was pretending to be a damsel or behaving like a knight, I've never known Darling to get _overwhelmed_ by anything," Apple sniffed and scrubbed away the last of her ruined make-up. "That makes me more certain than anything that it was just a very, very polite way to turn me down."

"Maybe you should give the whole... _Art of Wooing_ thing a break," Raven suggested. "I mean... what is it that you always say about dating? That we're still just in high school?"

"You're right, of course," Apple sighed and ventured a smile. She brushed a fresh coat of mascara, this time waterproof, over her lashes. "I'm going back to Briar and Ashlynn's... I'll do my fairy best not to wake you when I come back?"

"I'll probably still be awake... I promised Melody Piper I'd record a few acoustic riffs for her," Raven shrugged. "Good luck picking your test outfit thing, I guess?"

"Thank you fairy much," Apple smiled back, and slipped out of their room once more.


	2. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that the Charming family crest is canonically a winged heart, as of _Semi-Charming Kind of Life_. But "winged heart" sounds like "winged hart," which is actually exactly what a stagasus is meant to be (a male deer with wings). Please just let me have my wordplay for a moment.

Wednesday, naturally, got itself off to a peculiar start. Apple White had only just awoken that morning, and was in the midst of removing her wrist-braces when she received a MirrorChat. The caller ID bore a picture of her mother.

"Hm? That's odd... mom's usually asleep right now," Apple rubbed the sleep from her eyes, scarcely believing what she saw. Still, her very busy mother _had_ made the time to fit a chat into her extremely busy schedule, and so Apple answered. "Good morning, mom! Sorry about my present appearance... I wasn't expecting a call so early."

"I know, dearest, but I was fairy, fairy concerned about you after I heard what a certain blonde birdie reported about you last night," Queen White seemed to study her daughter's image for a moment. "You know you can call me if you need an ear to listen, right?"

"You were in that long-distance teleconference with those leaders from Afairyca last night, regarding their request for fairy forces to combat the recent drought," Apple lowered her eyes slightly. "I didn't want to interrupt the arrangement of emergency aid just because I was... being silly. Besides, Briar and Ashlynn made sure I was all right. They're royally great friends."

"I hate to have been busy while you were upset enough to cry, dove," Snow sighed, all too acquainted with the sacrifices of being queen first and a mother second. "You'll want to do something about that puffiness of eye before class. Do you need eye-drops? I can send a bottle by Dwarf Delivery in half an hour or less."

"It's all right, mom," Apple smiled weakly. She lifted a bottle of eye-drops from her vanity. "A good royal is _always_ prepared."

"Oh, my little Apple dumpling," Snow White pressed her lips together, seeming fit to cry herself. "I know how much your happily-ever-after means to you, how much the destined prince or princess of our fairytale means to our entire heritage... I just wish I could do something to help. Just a little _something_ to give destiny a teeny-tiny, itty-bitty _push_ in the right direction."

"I'll do better next time," Apple sighed, unsure whether she was trying to assuage her mother or herself. "I just-- I have to try something else. I guess there's nothing else I can do but keep trying."

"The Princess Charming seemed like such a polite young lady the last we met," Snow White shook her head. She seemed upset on her daughter's behalf. "It is _very_ unkind of her to continue leading you on like this. You know how much I 'heart' our family tradition, as the young folk are saying these days... but Evil Queen's magic isn't _always_ completely accurate, regardless of whatever she might have said to try and terrify our people. If your princess continues to reject the sanctity of True Love, there are ways we can test if it was a fluke."

Apple reddened as deeply as her namesake and checked that Raven hadn't woken up from the tirade. "Mom! Don't you think the Charmings would find that royally offensive?"

"Some things are worth offending people for," Snow White softened. "Things like my daughter's lifelong happiness."

"It's all right, mom," Apple gently entreated. "She's not normally like this... and I really, really like her. I can't tell for sure whether it's true love or not, but I want to follow my new destiny. Mom, I want to see where it leads me."

"I'm royally proud of you, Apple," the Queen smiled, sighing at last. "You're going to be a great queen someday... I just know it. If your heart is set on the young Miss Charming, then know that your mother will support you every step of the way. I trust you feel ready for your Princessology exam today?"

"I memorized all twenty-five pairs of shoes on the exam by category and origin, and I've drafted and memorized the essay I'm going to write for the timed essay portion," Apple reported happily, glad to change the topic to something she was much more confident about. "I also have my test-taking outfit chosen and ready to wear... I feel prepared to royally _ace_ this test."

"That's my girl," Snow White beamed through the MirrorChat. "Now go out there and show them who's fairest."

"Thanks, mom," Apple smiled back, feeling altogether less terrible about the events of the night previous. "See you later."

And so, closing her MirrorPad app, Apple carefully applied eye-drops to lessen the redness of her eyes before going about her typical morning beauty routine of washing up, sunscreen, brushing teeth, sunscreen, make-up, and more sunscreen.

Raven chose that moment to yawn and stumble, partway awake, off her bed.

"G'morning, Apple," she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "What're you still doing here?"

"What do you mean, Raven...?" Apple cocked her head to the side, "This is my dorm, too."

"Yeah, but it's Wednesday," Raven picked up her alarm clock. "I don't have class until ten... you're like, _never_ here when I wake up. Don't you have Princessology at 8:30?"

She pointed to the time. Apple's eyes widened.

"Oh no! Class starts in fifteen minutes, and I _still_ haven't had breakfast yet!" Apple yelped, surprised at how very long her conversation with her mom had carried on.

"I might have something, hang on," Raven dug through her desk blindly. She held out a granola bar. "It's not much, but it's better than nothing..."

"I royally appreciate it, Raven," Apple accepted the granola bar from her. "You really are the best roomie. Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," Raven shook her head, watching as Apple hurried out of the room.

Raven put on her bathrobe and grabbed her toiletries to begin the day. As if an afterthought, she grabbed her MirrorPhone with her-- maybe Melody had already MirrorMailed her back about the riffs she'd sent last night. Its battery seemed to be dead, but that was no issue, thanks to a little re-charging spell Raven had picked up since mastering her magic. 

She filled a cup with water and set her toothbrush with her usual fairyberry-flavored toothpaste. Once she was in the rhythm of brushing her teeth, Raven used her spare hand to casually unlock her phone, checking whatever messages she might have missed while asleep.

* * *

> Briar Beauty: Hey, Raven, you awake yet? Just thought you should know that something HUGE is going on in the castleteria.

* * *

 Raven furrowed her brow. She spat out her toothpaste.

* * *

> Maddie Hatter: Something's crushed second breakfast, and it's not even morning tea yet! Now we'll never get to three-ses. :(

* * *

Raven rinsed and wiped her mouth, no longer paying attention to brushing her teeth. Maddie, using a frowny emoticon? What exactly had happened?

* * *

> Dexter Charming: I'm not saying that this is urgent or anything, and I really hope I'm not bothering you by texting this early in the morning, but we could really use your help in the castleteria.

**\-- 3 Missed Calls from Dexter Charming\--**

> Dexter Charming: Okay, I'll stop calling after this hext. Just, um, maybe don't go down to the castleteria just yet... like maybe not ever again.

**\-- 5 Missed Calls from Dexter Charming\--**

> Dexter Charming: Raven?? Raven, please please PLEASE pick up your phone
> 
> Raven Queen: sorry, dex, i just got to my phone. what's happening? is everyone okay?
> 
> Dexter Charming: I think everyone's safe, but I'm not sure. I just got into a classroom myself. They don't fit in the doorways, so we should be all right.
> 
> Raven Queen: they? what are "they"?
> 
> Dexter Charming: Do you remember that lecture in Science and Sorcery last week...? The one about creating artificial life, like Wonderlandian Horses or golems?
> 
> Raven Queen: golems!? there's no way i slept through our school being attacked by golems!
> 
> Dexter Charming: No! No, you definitely didn't sleep through golems. Apple sent Darling some artifices as a gift... five of them in the shape of winged stags, made of ivory and covered in gemstones.
> 
> Raven Queen: that's impossible... apple said she was giving the whole 'art of wooing' thing a break last night. plus, artifices are royally hard to get a hold of, and she didn't even leave our dorm until a few minutes ago!
> 
> Dexter Charming: I don't know... All I'm sure of is that they were in the castleteria this morning, and when Darling read the gift tag, they went on a total rampage. They completely wrecked the castleteria before heading down the halls. Nothing we do even leaves a scratch, since they're so covered in jewels.
> 
> Raven Queen: all right, i'm coming-- and i'm bringing every spell i've got. tell everyone to hang tight?
> 
> Dexter Charming: Will do, Raven.

* * *

"All right," Dexter proclaimed to all the students there gathered. "Raven's okay! She's on her way over now!"

A cacophony of cheers was raised from the classroom.

"I cannot tell a lie... I was starting to worry they'd gotten to her first," Cedar shuddered. "Those things are royally strong."

"I've still got bruises," Daring winced, rubbing at a sore spot where an antler had thwacked him in his effort to subdue the artificed creatures by wrestling them. "Which is concerning because I _never_ meet foes capable of wounding me!"

"They don't listen to reason like regular beasts," Rosabella sighed. " _And_ they're made of ivory! Even though these artifices seem to be synthetically-produced ivory, they aesthetically promote an illegal trade that contributes further to poaching and animal endangerment."

"I've tried talking to them in deer, moose, pegasus, and even jackalope," Ashlynn shook her head. "My magic touch just doesn't work on these, since they're more magic than animal."

"The winged stag, or Stagasus, is the symbol that separates our branch of Charmings from all the other branches," Dexter suggested. He explained, "It's supposed to be powerful but elusive, and super territorial besides. Being able to ride one is supposed to be the sign of a true hero. The real thing is almost extinct now, though some explorers say that there are still a few left, hiding somewhere."

"Sorry, Dex," Ashlynn shook her head. "Stagasi are so rare that I've never even seen one... much less had the opportunity to learn their language!"

"Aw, gort... it was worth a shot," Dexter shook his head. "Even though they look alike, I don't think the artifice is language-compatible anyways."

Darling suddenly burst into the room, quickly slamming the door behind her. She was panting furiously, and when she removed her helm, it was clear that her hair plastered to her forehead with sweat. Cautiously, she stepped out of her White Knight regalia.

"Well," she breathed. "I'm completely out of usable swords."

Hunter pulled himself in through the window, glancing back down at the ivory stagasi he'd left behind, "All my axes broke, too. Synthetic ivory's hard enough to cut through by itself... but with all the gemstones encrusted on those things, they're totally _impossible_ to take down."

"Talk about a royal mess," Darling put her face in her hands. "I'm so, so sorry, guys. I put all of you in danger..."

"All you did was read one little card," Rosabella laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You couldn't have known that the artifices would react like that."

"No!" Darling exclaimed, seeming absolutely furious with herself. "All of this... _all_ of this is my fault because I was too much of a coward to ask Apple out in the first place."

"Wait," Ashlynn tried to clarify. "You wanted to--?"

"It doesn't matter now," Darling bit sulkily. She shrugged off the last piece of her armor. "I should have at least given her a straight answer, yes or no. Now the school is a mess because of some ridiculous courtship ruling in chapter three, my friends are hurt, and we're trapped in a classroom."

"... chapter three?" Cedar looked perplexed.

Recognition lit up in Dexter's eyes. " _The Art of Wooing_ textbook for Advanced Wooing... chapter three is about acceptable gifts. Since the Stagasus is one of our family symbols, that would make an object bearing its image an ideal courtship gift... according to the text, I mean. And, well... Great-Uncle Passion went to great pains to describe the upper price limit. Or, um. The lack of one, that is."

"I feel royally bad about it," Darling rubbed her arm self-consciously. "I mean, enchanting an object with artificial life is hextremely expensive. What would I do with an animated stagasus, anyways... much less five of them?"

"I think they were meant to carry our entire family as noble steeds, like the stagasuses of old!" Daring posed heroically before suddenly wincing. "Oww... Note to self: Hero Pose 22 does _not_ play nice with bruises."

"Pretty hard to make one of those things anything even _resembling_ a noble steed," Darling frowned, inspecting a sizable dent in her armor. "That's why stagasi are almost extinct, you know... because of foolish so-called _heroes_ from our family thinking they could ride one of them, only to end up being forced to slay them once they attack instead. Even worse is when the so-called hero dies from being stabbed by an antler, but mortally wounds the creature before he goes out... it's royally inhumane."

"That's terrible!" Horror crossed Rosabella's face, and Darling most gracefully did not mention that Daring, Dexter, and their father had actually gone looking for them once, on a camping trip in their childhood. They had complained that they'd never even managed to glimpse one, anyways.

"They're safe, now... nobody's so much as spotted one in decades. I think the stagsi got smart and learned to stay far, far away from people," Darling shook her head. "It's a silly, ridiculous legend... heroes who ride stagasi. I don't think these artifices act so different from how I imagine the real ones to act. They're supposed to be viciously territorial."

"These ones, though, are definitely worse," Cedar shuddered. "If they're immune to being calmed or reasoned with like regular animals, and not even a sword or axe can stop them because of all the gems... I cannot tell a lie, we might be done for!"

"Totally. My. Fault." Darling slumped into a desk and put her head down. "I'm sorry, guys. I can't even do anything to stop this..."

"Nobody asked you whether you wanted them or not," Rosabella asserted. "And it's not fair for you to take the blame. Chin up, Darling... it'll all be okay."

"Hey, guys, look!" Hunter suddenly exclaimed, pointing down from the window. "It's Raven!"

"Raven?" Dexter hurried to the forefront and peered down. "Raven!"

Sure enough, there was Raven Queen-- still in her pajamas on the front lawn of Ever After High, stopping the final rampaging stagasus with a deft spell, an incantation, a blindingly brilliant light. She gave an exhausted wave up at the classroom.

"That's the last of them!" Raven yelled up. "Baba Yaga already took down the other two!"

"Yes, well," the Headmaster stepped from the front door of the school building. "While we appreciate your assistance, I feel it is my duty to remind you that, ahem, school days have a certain... _dress code_."

Raven glanced down at her pajamas. There was a dribble of toothpaste down the front of her robe. She looked up at her friends and shrugged.

"Guess I'd better go change, then," she laughed, and gave her friends above a wave before heading back to the dorms.

"I'm relieved that everything turned out all right," Rosabella smiled, dusting herself off. "I'm going to go check to make sure the other students are okay."

"I'll come too!" Cedar volunteered. "I was worried for a minute there, but now, I'm mostly just worried about seeing if all of my friends are okay. I really, really hope they are."

"Well, a hero's duty calls," Hunter shook his head, kissing Ashlynn's cheek before joining her. "And huntsmen never rest while there are still people afraid or confused!"

"I'd better get to the nurse's office," Daring cringed, poking his shoulder. "I think I sprained something."

"I should probably go with you," Dexter sighed. He glanced towards Darling, "Are you coming, too?"

"I've... got things to do," Darling shifted uncomfortably. It was clear she meant to try and figure out what to say to Apple now, after people had gotten _hurt_ from her efforts at courtship. "Besides... I should probably find someone who can get this dent out of my armor before sixth period. Jousting practice, and all."

"All right," Dexter agreed, if but reluctantly.

Ashlynn sighed and glanced at the clock. It was far too late to show up for Princessology now, and because she most decidedly wasn't going to make it on time, her dress had burst into rags almost an hour ago. "You guys go on ahead... Hunter, Rosabella, I'll join you just as soon as I get changed."

And thus, reluctantly, Ashlynn made the track back towards the dorm in itchy, graying burlap and raggedy shoes with holes worn in the bottoms. It was at this time she received a hext message.

* * *

> Apple White: Where are you guys? There are only five more minutes until the test period's over!
> 
> Ashlynn Ella: You mean you don't know? The gift that you left Darling in the castleteria went on a rampage across the entire school!
> 
> Apple White: ... gift? What gift?
> 
> Ashlynn Ella: The animated ivory stagasi?
> 
> Apple White: Um... what? I'm sorry, but that definitely wasn't me... this morning, I didn't get a chance to go to the castleteria at all. My mom called me while I was getting ready, so I was running hextremely late. I barely even made it to class on time!
> 
> Ashlynn Ella: You mean it wasn't you? The tag had your name on it, though... and the stagasi looked way too expensive to have been a prank. Maybe only the Midases could have afforded to do that...
> 
> Apple White: I royally hope nobody's mad enough at me to do something so mean... I hope Darling doesn't think I would do something so terrible on purpose :( Did anyone get hurt? I have my first-aid kit on hand.
> 
> Ashlynn Ella: Not that I know of... Daring seems to have some bruises from trying to face one head-on, but otherwise, I think we all got into classrooms in time. Raven just came out and de-activated the last of them. Headmaster Grimm seems royally mad, though... I'd try to get things figured out before meeting with him, if I were you.
> 
> Apple White: All right... I think I need to make a few phone calls. Hext you later?
> 
> Ashlynn Ella: Of course. I think I'd better get the rest of the class together to convince Mrs. Her Majesty The White Queen to reschedule the exam once everyone's confirmed to be safe... wish us luck!
> 
> Apple White: Good luck, BFFA!

* * *

Closing the hexting app, Apple furrowed her brow, perplexed as she pondered on the gift in question.

She was well aware that the winged stag was a symbol of that particular branch of Charmings-- she'd been raised under the assumption that Daring Charming would be her champion, after all. In fact, if she didn't know any better, something of this nature could have come straight out of the annals of traditional courtship. She'd been told a story about her own father, and how he'd gifted Snow White a beautiful white-gold clockwork bird as one of _their_ first courting gifts...

That realization drove Apple's thoughts to a skidding halt. She scrambled for her phone and quickly dialed.

"Mom? Are you there?" Apple questioned urgently.

"Sorry, Princess White. Your mom's in a meeting with the Fairies' Union about the Afairyca drought," a remorseful dwarven face showed on the MirrorChat. "This is Secretary Timidus speaking. Is there anything I can help you with in the meantime?"

"I just need to know if anyone sent anything to school this morning on my behalf, Secretary Tim," Apple assured him, knowing the bashful dwarf was by far too shy to interrupt a meeting for any reason.

"Oh! Oh, my," Tim wrung his hands. "Did the artifices not arrive as expected? The king will be most displeased!"

"Dad?" Apple squeaked, covering her mouth with her hand. " _Dad_ ordered them sent on my behalf?"

"Well, you know, he had them made a long time ago in anticipation of... well, I suppose you shan't marry the eldest son at all, now, so they wouldn't make very good wedding gifts," Timidus prevaricated. "Your father King White had me send them by Dwarf Delivery just before your mother arrived at work. He seemed terribly upset... insisted it was quite urgent."

Apple frowned. "Patch me through to dad, please. He shouldn't be very busy right now."

"As you wish, Princess," Tim answered, and the line shifted to a hold screen for a moment.

Apple waited patiently until her father's visage popped up on screen.

"Good morning, Apple-dumpling!" King White smiled as brilliantly as he ever did, downing an entire bottle of water. Looking upon him, it was clear where Apple had inherited her rounded jaw and blonde hair. "You caught me at a good time... just finished my morning 10-mile run."

"Dad," Apple began, not sure where to start. "Secretary Tim told me that you had something sent to the school on my behalf. Stagasus artifices."

"So I did!" her father chuckled. "I wish I could have seen the expression on your beloved's face. Calling to thank your old man, then?"

"Um, actually, I never made it to the castleteria this morning," Apple looked faintly upset. "And while I was taking my Princessology test, it turns out that the stagasi went on a rampage throughout school! 

"A rampage, you say?" King White's brows rose. "That is certainly very concerning. I'll have to contact the artificer who animated them... things could have gotten dangerous."

"Dad," a pained expression crossed Apple's face. "Why did you say that they were from me when they weren't?"

"Your mother and I had a talk with you about this... sometimes, you just have to use all your resources and pull out all stops to get your happily-ever-after back on track. Besides," King White looked faintly apologetic. "When your mother got off the phone with you this morning, she was very upset that she couldn't do anything for you. It's been a long, long, long time since I've seen Snow look so helpless... You and your mother are _my_ happily-ever-after, and it's not a hero's way to do _nothing_  when his loved ones are unhappy. I'm sorry, my little Apple-pie."

"Everything's worse than it was this morning," Apple's lower lip quivered. "I don't know what to do."

"I'll... call your mother. We'll need to gather a team of publicity dwarves," King White ran a hand through his hair. "I can't imagine she'll be pleased with me about this, but this is beyond even _my_ expertise. Still... she'll understand why I had to take action. All true loves do. Don't you fret, my dear Apple... I know your own Princess Charming will understand you as well, someday. Just put on a smile and whistle while you work for now, all right?"

"Whistle while I work... I can do that," Apple put on a brave smile. "I'll talk to you later, dad. Call me when you and mom have something figured out?"

"Will do, Princess," King White saluted her proudly, and the MirrorChat app shut itself down.

This being finished, Apple began to drag herself to her next class, Science and Sorcery. With any amount of terrible luck, she thought, they'd still be on last week's unit about artifices.

Apple sighed. Knowing what exactly had led to that morning's events did not make them any easier on her-- especially since she hadn't even seen anything happen herself. In the middle of the Princessology test, she'd only heard a little bit of thudding, a noise she'd passed off as something completely normal, like Tiny walking to class or someone's pet having been mistakenly loosed in the halls.

Fortunately, on her way to Professor Rumplestiltskin's classroom, Apple had the opportunity to pass by one of the artifices in question. She stopped in the halls, the sight of its beauty taking her breath away.

Though it was immobile now, the animation magic forcibly sucked from its limbs, the carving was so realistic that it seemed prepared to spring to life at any moment. The delicate hooves and snout were made of bare ivory, utterly enchanting because of their whiteness in such a field of color. The eyes glistened sapphire-blue.

The antlers seemed to refract in the light, casting rainbows onto the hallway with their prismatic crystal. Each graceful leg was lined with thousands of tiny gems-- this particular statue seemed to have been encrusted in opals. A wing hung at either side of the torso, stock-still but yet as if it were in the middle of flight, feathers of ivory and diamond mingling together like soft down beneath an elegant, sleek plumage.

"Proud of your little gift, are you?"

Apple whirled around at that voice. "Duchess!"

"Oh, don't mind me," Duchess casually glided _pas couru_  towards the statue, nearly a foot taller than she. "I'm just here to admire their beauty. A shame that Darling Charming spent the morning trying to beat these away from the other students... I don't thing she appreciated them much."

"Well... I'd hate to assume things without hearing it from the source," Apple glanced down at her feet, knowing full well that nobody appreciated a gift which had _attacked_ them.

"Well..." Duchess posited slyly. "I did happen to hear something Darling said yesterday afternoon... on my way back from a trip to Book End, of course. You can imagine my shock when I heard what she said!"

"What?" Apple seemed startled. "Did she... say something about me?"

"I don't know, Apple," Duchess masterfully feigned reluctance, turning away with a _demi-détourné en dedans_. "Even though I recorded it because I thought you'd want to know, I was worried it would break your heart... especially after I found out you'd written those letters."

"There was something wrong with my letters?" Apple swallowed anxiously. "Please, Duchess, you _have_ to show me! I need to know..."

"Oh, Apple!" Duchess dramatically dropped into a split  _à terre,_  an arm splayed over her forehead as if feeling faint. She held out her MirrorPhone with the other. "If you want to know, then you _must_ know... but I wish I could have spared you."

The daughter of the White Swan had to conceal her grin when her MirrorPhone was very nearly snatched out of her hand.

Apple's eyes clung to the screen as she cautiously hit 'play' on the video. She could see the Charming siblings take their ride back to school in one of their family's automated carriages, the Charming crest emblazoned on either side.

_"I **said** I don't want to talk about it." _

The audio was a little tinny due to the wind, but very clearly audible, and very clearly Darling's voice. Apple watched as video-Darling frowned, her brows furrowing and seeming uncharacteristically troubled.

" _It's annoying when people think sending me love letters every day is a good idea_ ," the audio proclaimed, " _Serenading outside my window is only obnoxious. Public declarations of love are just embarrassing. And of course I feel bad about accepting expensive gifts!_ "

There was a long, long awkward pause in the video. The only way Apple could tell that it hadn't ended yet was because the frame was still shifting with Duchess' wingbeats, and Dexter seemed to be fidgeting uncomfortably.

Suddenly, Apple decided that she didn't want to see the rest of the video, a lump rising in her throat. Her eyes stung with the salt of tears.

"I have to go," Apple announced, dropping the MirrorPhone back into Duchess' awaiting palm. She hurried away in the opposite direction, classes be damned.

Indeed, it was only when she was out of earshot that the audio continued. Dexter's voice came, then, questioning: " _But?_ "

" _But I never ever want anyone to get really, truly **hurt** because of me again. I hate those books. I hate it when people think they're the end-all-be-all of how to court a Charming. But I **especially** hate it when things go too far._ "

A slow smile spread across Duchess' face as the video ended.

"A little late for that, don't you think?" she laughed, as if replying to the recording.

Destroying the future Queen Apple White herself was easier than Duchess had ever anticipated. And now, if she never had her happily-ever-after with Darling Charming, there would be a huge, gaping opening in the royal rankings-- a happily-ever-after that Duchess was more than eager to claim for herself, in lieu of the miserable end she had been prescribed.

Clutching her MirrorPhone in hand, Duchess gradually, elegantly lifted herself from the floor like a phoenix rising from the ash.

She spun around in several  _chaînés turns_ to celebrate.

* * *

 **From:** Headmaster Milton Grimm  < _mgrimm@faculty.everafterhigh.edu_ >

 **To:** Group List- Students  < _awhite@student.everafterhigh.edu_ ; _awonderland@student.everafterhigh.edu_ ; 100+ More>  
      Group List- Faculty < _byaga@faculty.everafterhigh.edu_ , _ggrimm@faculty.everafterhigh.edu_ , 21 More>

 **Subject:** Remaining Wednesday Classes Cancelled

> Dear students and faculty of Ever After High,
> 
> As a consequence of this morning's unpleasant interruption, much of our school has fallen into disrepair, including our intercom system, the majority of the C-Wing, and, most unfortunately, the entirety of the castleteria. Luckily, our beloved Queen Snow White made an extremely generous last-minute donation to repair the damages caused by the disruption in the hopes that our students' education might continue without further delay.
> 
> Subsequently, due to the heavy construction parts of our school will be undergoing, classes are cancelled for the day. As a result of this time lost from your extremely important education, an extra day of school will be added on to the end of the school year to make up for time lost. All teachers are to provide make-up dates for missed exams with no penalty to the students. This is non-negotiable.
> 
> You are encouraged to purchase meals in Book End while the castleteria is being repaired. Do _not_ attempt to enter the Cooking Class-ic room, due to its proximity to the C-Wing reconstruction.
> 
> Our hope is that construction will be finished late this evening. School-night curfew continues to be at eight o'clock sharp, and stragglers will be given Saturday detention, during which they will clean the entire school from top to bottom, as per school rules.
> 
> Your Headmaster,
> 
>             Milton Grimm

* * *

"You know what this day would have been perfect for?" Darling sighed wistfully, stirring her tea.

Cupid sighed back, nibbling at a slice of pie. "A date with your one true love who just doesn't notice you the way you want them to?"

"Um... yes, actually," Darling glanced up, shocked. "How did you know what I was thinking?"

"I, um..." Cupid's eyes flickered left and right, as if searching for an answer amidst the chaotic wonder of the Mad Hatter's Haberdashery and Tea Shoppe. She hastily excused herself, "Oh, well, you know how it is... daughter of Eros, and everything. I can, um, see it in your aura! Yes. I can see your pining in your aura. Do you want to tell someone what's in your heart?"

"Maybe," Darling stared into her teacup before taking a long, steadying sip. "It's just... I was going to bring an end to this terrible royal courtship business before anyone else got hurt. I was going to just ask Apple out. Like, you know... on a real date. Just like I should have before this whole thing even started, instead of being a total _coward_ about it."

"Well," Cupid scooted a little closer. "Maybe you need to look at why you were so afraid to ask her out in the first place."

"You'll think me a fool for it," Darling sighed, and carefully refilled their teacups-- first Cupid's, then her own. "It's just... I've never asked someone out before. It's always been some complete stranger I barely know, coming up to me all, 'Darling, won't you let me take you dancing?' or 'It would be an honor to treat you to dinner, Princess Charming' or 'I love you, Darling, marry me!' And even then... I've never said yes to even one of them. I've never been on a date before... what would we even do?"

"You could ask your brother," Cupid suggested. She seemed to pause for a second, as if remembering something she didn't actually want to remember. "I mean... _either_ of your brothers."

"Hearing about all of the dates _Daring's_ taken Apple on is the last thing I want to do. I can't stand the thought of it," Darling wrinkled her nose slightly. "And as for Dexter... honestly, I'm not even sure he's been on more than one date, and that was at the MultiHex with Raven, and they do that sort of thing all the time as friends. They're actually at GameStory right now looking at computer games... but I'm pretty sure even _Dexter_ doesn't think it's a date."

"Oh... they are, are they?" Cupid diverted her attention back to her pie for a moment. Then, more confidently, "Well... I don't think it matters much, what things you're doing with the person you like... just as long as you're together, you know?"

With perfect Charming obliviousness, Darling turned her head to the side, perplexed. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I mean it _doesn't matter_ where the date is, or what you're doing. It's the person that makes it special, not the event," Cupid waved her fork emphatically. "For example! If it was Apple having tea with you here, instead of me, you'd call it a date, right?"

"This isn't a date," Darling hurriedly clarified, just in case Cupid had been mistaken otherwise.

"I know it isn't, Darling," Cupid chuckled a little. "That's because you and I are just friends, and nothing else. Just imagine it for a moment, though-- Apple's here instead of me, and you're sharing a pie and a pot of charmblossom tea. You'd think that was a date, right?"

"... maybe," Darling mumbled, a dusting of pink spreading across her cheeks. "I mean... I would _hope_ it was."

"You understand it, then," Cupid smiled back. "You could ask Apple to help you clean chewed gum off the History classroom desks... but as long as you're together, I just have a feeling that somehow, some way, you'll both have a great time."

"Cleaning gum off the school desks," Darling giggled. "You know, if we had the appropriate gloves and scrapers, I could actually see her getting excited about that. She royally loves volunteer work and public service... and it would be worth it, I think, just to be able to listen to her whistle while she works. It's... cute, the way she does that."

"See? You've got nothing to worry about," Cupid beamed, stirring a little sugar into her tea. "Go on and ask her out! I'm sure she'll say yes."

"I'd already made up my mind that I would," Darling explained, tapping her teaspoon against her saucer in thought. "It's just that I can't find her, no matter where I've looked. I checked the dragon stables, too, and Braebyrn's not there. I'm worried that she's avoiding me because she's upset or embarrassed or maybe she thinks that I don't like her... I just wish I'd agreed to listen when she tried to serenade me yesterday afternoon."

"A serenade? How romantic!" Cupid sighed, seeming heart-struck by the thought. "Why didn't you agree?"

Darling shifted uncomfortably. "She was following a method outlined from a hextbook... a hextbook that I have some bad experiences with. One of the guys who tried to woo me with it lost his arm... so I panicked a little and made the first excuse I could think of. It was way easier when I was just turning people down automatically."

"Wait," Cupid frowned. "I think I know what the problem is. Are you... afraid?"

"Charmings don't fear anything," Darling straightened her posture, affronted by the very idea. "Not even the damseliest of the damsels among us! They may be demure and helpless, but never, _ever_  scared. You can't be, if you're surrounded by kidnapper-dragons and wicked sorcerers and other so-called 'distressful' situations all the time."

"Not that kind of afraid," Cupid shook her head. "I meant, are you afraid that Apple might get hurt if she gets close to you? You said yourself that Charmings attract distressful situations... at least, I guess, in your experience."

"I don't know," Darling admitted, poking listlessly at her own slice of pie. "Maybe. I'm just used to letting people down quickly, so it hurts less... and not just emotionally. People have gotten _seriously injured_  trying to woo me, and I know for sure I never want to see Apple hurt like that. True love or not, she's still my friend first, and I care about her a lot."

"Maybe you should let her know that," Cupid suggested. "Putting your thoughts down on paper, or sending them by hext, or even baking them into a treat... those are all different ways to communicate."

"No," Darling shook her head, a determined expression falling over her face. "There's only one way to do this... the proper, straightforward way. I have to talk to her face-to-face... too much has been left up to letters and hext messages and gifts already, and all they've done is give me-- give _both of us_ more time to hide. If I'm going to communicate, I want it to be done right."

"That sounds spellbinding," Cupid grinned, at last popping a full forkful of pie into her mouth. She paused, chewed for a moment. Then, she swallowed. "But for now, you really have to try this fairyberry pie... I've never tasted anything so... _wonderful_ before."

Darling muffled a chuckle behind one of her diaphanous sleeves and at last took a decisive bite of her own pie. "The Wonderlandians know their afternoon tea very well... I admit, it's a habit I've picked up since becoming their present White Knight."

"Why, thank you!" Maddie seemed to step out of the teapot that was still upon their table. She beamed, "As your waiter for the day, I couldn't help but noticing your tea had gone cold! It was refreshing enough for a swim, but we'll have none of that here, when you ordered it hot. One extra teapot of steaming charmblossom tea, coming right up! Or... coming right down, as it seems."

She leaped into the air and caught a teapot that had been flying above, easily swapping out the first, which floated off in a fluorescent bubble.

Darling laughed, "Hexcellent timing, Maddie!"

"I'm never going to get used to that," Cupid giggled, one of the teapot's feathers tickling her nose.

It was at this point that the MirrorPhones of everyone at that table went off simultaneously.

* * *

**\-- Raven Queen created group chat: Where's Apple?\--**

> Raven Queen: i haven't seen apple since she left the dorm this morning... i thought she just went back to the dorms after grimm's e-mail, but she isn't here. she usually leaves a note if she'll be out for a while, but it's been half an hour and i haven't heard anything... i'm starting to get worried. do you guys know where she is?
> 
> Cedar Wood: now i'm worried, too... maybe she just forgot to leave a note?
> 
> Briar Beauty: Nuh-uh... Apple never forgets to leave a note if she'll be out. Have you tried calling her? Hexting?
> 
> Raven Queen: i hexted, but still no reply. calling just sent me stright to voicemail... i think her phone might be off or out of battery, but that's not like her either
> 
> Darling Charming: i was in the dragon stables earlier and Braebyrn wasnt there... maybe she went out for a flight
> 
> Poppy O'Hair: the cell reception at higher altitudes IS pretty terrible. even the wi-fi up here isn't the best.
> 
> Ashlynn Ella: I don't know about this, guys... Apple's pretty consistent about royal protocol.
> 
> Holly O'Hair: Ashlynn's right. Finding a way to let others know if you've gone missing is a pretty big deal in Damsel-in-Distressing. I think the lack of a note *has* to be some sort of sign.
> 
> Blondie Lockes: Well, I'd be in distress, too, if MY courtship wasn't going ~just right.~ No offense, Darling.
> 
> Darling Charming: ............. none taken.
> 
> C. A. Cupid: she probably just forgot to leave a note because she was upset... i don't think that's so weird. sometimes, when your heart hurts, you just need to be alone for a while. maybe we should give her a little space.
> 
> Raven Queen: maybe you're right... and i'm just overreacting.
> 
> Cerise Hood: i kinda get what ur saying but sometimes a lone wolf just has 2 go their own way 
> 
> Hunter Huntsman: if apple's not back in an hour we'll organize a search party
> 
> Rosabella Beauty: i'm sure our animal friends would be willing to help too :)
> 
> Raven Queen: all right, you've convinced me... i'll wait another hour before doing anything. i'll let you know via this chat if she still hasn't come back.
> 
> Briar Beauty: I still don't feel totally right about this... but if Apple needs space, she needs space. Keep us posted, Raven.

* * *

Curfew came too quickly, that night.

"We have to go back to school," Ashlynn shook her head, visibly disappointed. "It's almost eight o'clock, and we'll be in huge trouble if we're late. My animal friends and I have scoured every inch of the Enchanted Forest... I don't think she's here."

"We _have_ to keep looking," Briar insisted. "She couldn't have simply _vanished_."

Blondie hurried up to her friends, tucking a bobby pin back into her hair. "I've looked everywhere, even in the storage rooms of every Book End business... she's absolutely nowhere in town."

"Maybe... she went back to the dorms?" Raven suggested, trying to rationalize Apple's disappearance. "I mean... we've been out looking for her for hours, now. Maybe she came back while we were all out?"

Cerise zoomed towards where her friends met at the front gate, bolting out of the Dark Forest like a streak of red lightning. "I ran until I was huffing and puffing... if Apple just took her dragon and straight-on _flew_ for the last five hours, it'd be impossible for me to catch up."

Holly and Poppy carefully circled the clearing with their dragons before landing amidst their friends.

"We did our best to search the skies, but no luck," Holly looked upset. "I'm sorry, guys."

"We'll check for Braebyrn when we stable Brushfire and Prince of Scales," Poppy offered, though the hope was slim.

"I'd appreciate it, guys," Raven shook her head and tried a smile. "Come on, let's go check the dorms."

"Raven, wait!" Darling jogged up to her, brambles and branches caught among her petticoats. "Let me come with you... if she's in your dorm, then I have to speak to her."

"All right," Raven agreed, feeling just a little bad for having kept Apple's presence secret from her the night prior. "I'll let the rest of you guys know in the group chat?"

"Yeah," Briar reached out and touched Raven's arm. She tried a smile, "I'm royally grateful, Raven."

There, their paths diverged. Raven and Darling ascended the staircase, taking two at a time, until at last they came to the dorm room Raven and Apple shared.

"Apple? Are you back?" Raven called out, unlocking the door.

Nothing. The room was as empty as it had been when Raven had left. She seemed to sag over when she sighed.

"She's not here?" Darling poked her head in through the door.

"Nothing's even been touched," Raven shook her head. "I just don't understand... Apple's _never_  been late for curfew before, especially not on a school night."

"Hmmm..." Darling furrowed her brow, eyes quickly scanning the room. She stopped at Apple's desk, "She left a book open. That's not like her at all... she always puts things away when she's done using them, doesn't she?"

"You're right," Raven hurried over, quickly checking the book. "It's that Advanced Wooing hextbook she's been reading. She got all the way to chapter seven in one day... seriously impressive."

Darling paled. "Did you say... Advanced Wooing hextbook, _chapter seven_?"

"It looks like she got about halfway through," Raven carefully leafed back a couple of pages, "Chapter Seven: 'How to Slay Monsters and Impress Your Maiden.' Though she doesn't usually just leave off in the middle of a chapter... wait. Wait, no. You're not thinking she--"

"Oh no," Darling swallowed. "I'm _totally_ thinking she did. Oh, Grimm, I..."

Darling's vision swam for a moment. She blinked, hard, and realized that this was what the elusive 'feeling faint' actually felt like, experiencing the sensation-- _really_ experiencing it, and not merely pretending to-- for the first time in her entire life.

"We have to do something," Raven decided suddenly, doing an about-turn towards the door. "We can't just let her--"

She bumped into someone just as she was about to step into the hall.

"Ahem," Headmaster Grimm cleared his throat. "Going somewhere, Ms. Queen?"

"Apple's missing," Raven tried to explain. "I was just... going to look for her."

"Yes. Ms. Wood conveyed the sentiment to me on her way in," Headmaster Grimm leveled a frown at her. "Rest assured that the foremost hero teams in Ever After have been employed in a missing-persons search. As it is after the eight o'clock campus curfew, I expect that you and your classmates will remain safely _on-campus_  while the best professional heroes in Queen Snow White's militia handle the matter."

"But she might be trying to slay a monster!" Darling protested. "Headmaster Grimm! Didn't you tell me it was my _destiny_ to be the hero of Apple's story? How am I supposed to rescue her if I'm..."

"You will be the hero of her story when _her story_ needs a hero," Headmaster Grimm loomed ominously. "Not a moment sooner, and _especially_ not with less than half a semester of Hero Training classes! Though I approve of your wholehearted devotion to your destiny, you are still a student at this school, and it is still past curfew. For your own safety, you _must_ remain on-campus."

Darling internally rolled her eyes and fell back into her guise as a demure lady. She feigned capitulation, "Well, Headmaster Grimm... I guess you'd know best in this matter. I suppose my efforts would only pale in comparison to the work done by professional hero taskforces."

The Headmaster relented slightly, "I am pleased you see it my way, Ms. Charming. Though you are still yet a student now, with hard work and devotion to your destiny, you could be among such heroes someday in the future. Carry on, then."

The two girls listened to the Headmaster's footsteps as he wandered down the hall, eventually out of earshot.

"You didn't mean any of that, did you?" Raven asked, knowing the answer already.

"Of course I didn't," Darling scoffed. "I'm sneaking out of the dorms as soon as the dormitory curfew check is done. Are you in?"

"Definitely." Raven pulled out her MirrorPhone. "I'll hext the others to meet us in my dorm. I've got a feeling that more than one of them will want to join."


	3. Thursday

At precisely the stroke of midnight, anyone and everyone who was capable of flying a dragon snuck their way down to the dragon-stables, each planning to head in a different cardinal direction.

"Group hext if we see her?" Ashlynn whispered, as if somehow Headmaster Grimm could even hear them all the way out at the dragon stables.

"Group hext," Raven nodded, and lifted her MirrorPhone before tucking it back into her dragon-riding armor. "Include your location. Remember, Farrah's illusion magic can only cover for us from now until noon."

Darling sighed and rubbed her forehead, swinging a leg over Herowing's back. She stroked the dragon's neck and whispered, "Come on, girl, you know how Braebyrn smells, don't you? You can find that scent?"

Herowing took a big sniff of the air. She trotted down the stable and thumped her tail against the door of Braebyrn's empty stall.

"Yes," Darling agreed, "That's Braebyrn's smell. But can you smell it anywhere else? Maybe somewhere she's been more recently?"

Herowing's head perked up and she began charging full-speed out the door. It wasn't in the direction Darling had been assigned, exactly, but she trusted Herowing's nose more than _any_ plan.

"Good girl," Darling grinned, happily patting Herowing's neck as she took off in the sky, something like the faint scent of static-electricity and Apple's delicate, lingering perfume present in the air.

They flew on into the night, far, far away. If Darling squinted, she could see the teams of professional heroes in Queen Snow's employ carefully combing the ground beneath her. They flew on, and on, and on further still-- they flew to lengths so distant that even the foremost teams of heroes were left in their wake, even the one led by Dr. King Charming himself.

It was no short flight, and the distance impressed even Darling. Though her dragon was more than capable of such a lengthy flight, even at her present age, it was still a terribly straining task upon the rider, whose hand had to guide the reins. Even now, the sun peeked up over the horizon, indicating that Darling had been flying nearly six hours straight.

Herowing's tongue flicked in the air briefly, as if questioning the rise of dawn. Darling couldn't help but mimic her for a moment, licking her lips to taste the morning air.

She tasted lightning-smoke and perfume, instead.

"Herowing..." Darling began. She hesitated. "You found them?"

Her throat-fins fluttered and she snuffled a quiet roar in affirmation. They flew on for nearly an hour more, but then, she suddenly dropped into a plummeting nosedive.

"Herowing!" Darling exclaimed, clinging on as tightly as she could. "Warn me before you do that! Herowing!"

Herowing released a high-pitched shriek as she landed, Darling stumbling off the second after.

"Bad girl," Darling huffed, dusting herself off. "I know you love to dive, but you have to tell me--"

Darling was cut off by a twittering chirp-- a sound wholly unusual for a dragon to make, but even Apple's _dragon_ was a little bit birdlike. Braebyrn poked her head out from around a tree, and Darling hurried over to see.

"Boy, am I glad to see you," Darling sighed in relief, scratching Braebyrn's chin. "Is your rider anywhere around here?"

Braebyrn shook her head sadly, but gestured for Darling to follow regardless.

"Where did Apple go?" Darling's mouth set into a frown, giving in to the dragon's demands. She let Braebyrn lead her into a copse of trees-- though an orchard might be more apt. "Wild apple trees?"

Darling's eyes scanned the area. There was a clearing in the trees' midst where there stood a small pile of ash, the safely extinguished remnants of what seemed to be an overnight campfire. She could hear the sounds of a babbling brook not too far away, presumably the source of the water that had been used to extinguish the flames. Several apple cores had been appropriately disposed of in a bag that hung a little bit away from the camp, and an empty tent was draped over a branch, presumably left out to dry before being packed away once more. 

Yep, Darling thought fondly, it was just like Apple to happen to have all this stuff coincidentally on-hand. She always did take seriously the motto of " _a royal is always prepared_."

Many of Apple's strange behaviors made sense now. Unless she had turned it off and reserved it for emergency use, Apple's MirrorPhone battery had probably been dead for several hours by now. It was no wonder Raven hadn't gotten a call or hext back. And of course she wouldn't have left a note proclaiming when she would be back if even she herself did not know.

Upon closer inspection of the trees around the campsite, Darling realized that several of them were marked out with white chalk. She frowned. Those were obviously markings that Apple had made, forming some sort of logical progression like she'd been lost, and had attempted to find her way out by marking trees. Obviously, Darling rationalized, Apple was _not_ lost-- Braebyrn always knew where she was, and Apple seemed to have made camp here quite on purpose, in an area with sources of food and water where a fire would not catch on nearby foliage. If she had somehow lost her way, all she would have needed to do was take her dragon up above the tree line and head due Southeast until Ever After High appeared off in the distance.

"It's almost as if... she's _searching_ for something," Darling's eyes lit up as she picked out a pattern among the trees, Apple's methodical thinking becoming clear in Darling's mind.

From the fire pit, the trees directly North, South, West, and East of her had each been marked with a large, white X. The trees precisely Northeast, Southeast, and Southwest had all been marked out, too. It was obviously what direction Apple must have traveled down most recently-- the only one that did not bear a mark that symbolized her return from that path.

She was about to whistle for Herowing to come and bear her Northwest, but then, Darling's movements halted. She furrowed her brow for a moment. Apple's dragon was most definitely nearby, but she hadn't taken Braebyrn with her. If Apple had indeed read the contents of the much-dreaded Chapter Seven, a dragon would have been a most valuable ally to have at hand while attempting to slay a monster or beast. Wherever Apple had gone, it was probably somewhere a dragon could not follow, and bringing Herowing might very well _hinder_ her search more than help it.

"Stay here," she commanded instead, patting Herowing's flank for a moment. As if an afterthought, she drew a smallish hunting dagger from a saddlebag and tucked it into her belt. It was no sword, but it was some sort of self-defense, at least.

And thus, with this thought in mind, Darling Charming set off alone down the Northwest path in search of her wayward princess. She hoped beyond all hoping that Apple had not stumbled upon whatever terrifying creature she'd been seeking.

* * *

After her evening away from Ever After High, Apple had felt refreshed when she'd woken-- just she and Braebyrn, alone in the middle of the unexplored woods. It was a peculiar feeling to wake up and know that she was out in the woods, miles from civilization, but Apple thought she was beginning to understand, even just a little, of what Ashlynn always meant by "getting back to nature." Strangely, she wasn't even slightly worried about having missed class, or being assigned detention, or even upsetting Headmaster Grimm.

 _After all_ , she told herself, _mom said that some things were worth offending people for, and happily-ever-after is one of them_. Perhaps she didn't wholly, completely agree with many of the things her mom believed in... but Apple knew that a Saturday detention (though she had never been to one before) would be the very least she could pay.

So too had her search borne fruit that morning, as she departed along the trail Northwest of her carefully-selected campsite. Apple smiled sweetly as she extended her hand to the beast, a shining golden apple sitting on her flat palm.

"Shhh," the princess whispered, petting the creature's nose as it ate from her palm. "You're certainly not easily frightened, are you?"

Still, it was perfectly reasonable that both Apple and the beast startled when Darling Charming came crashing through the brush, yelling at the top of her lungs and brandishing her dagger as if it were a broadsword instead.

"You'll have to get through me first, beast!" Darling cried, positioning herself in-between Apple and the allegedly dangerous creature.

The stag reared backwards, positioning his horns to kill, his wings fluffed out viciously from either side in an attempt to seem even larger than he really was-- and the stagasus had towered almost two feet over Apple to begin with. He released an unearthly screech unlike any normal deer, fangs elongating in what ought to have been a herbivore's mouth.

"Shhh, shhh, I'm royally sorry about the confusion, there's been a little misunderstanding," Apple hushed, ducking under Darling's elbow to pat the creature once more. And, with all the commanding nobility of her royal blood, "Darling, please drop the blade. He doesn't _really_ want to hurt us."

Darling's eyes flickered in between her dagger and the stagasus. She watched the beast growl and froth at the mouth in a manner far more canine than deer-like, taking a snap at Apple's hand that she barely managed to avoid.

"I would ask you to excuse me if I don't exactly believe that right now," Darling nudged Apple behind her once more, never once lowering her dagger. She drew her brows together, "Stagasi are some of the most territorial creatures in the entire realm. Everything about this beast reads _hostile_."

The stagasus lunged abruptly, in that moment, and Apple was scarcely able to dive out of the way as Darling spun and parried the creature expertly. Its white coat glistened in the sunlight like ivory, its pale, nearly translucent horns seeming to glow in the mid-morning sun, and its blows came quick and powerful in a way that would have shaken a lesser knight than Darling.

It would have been easier if Darling had managed to save a sword from the artificed stagasi she'd fought at school, being better accustomed to the larger blades. There was also the matter that, if she wished to land a real hit on the stagasus at all, she would have to either throw her only weapon from a distance, likely disarming herself in the process, or she would have to draw within biting range of that fanged mouth, merely an unpleasant but expected sight on a wolf or dragon, but an utterly horrifying one on an animal which bore so much resemblance to the practically-tame deer of the Enchanted Forest.  

She parried viciously, determined to protect Apple from its rage, or at least distract it long enough for her princess to make an escape. Thus, it was to Darling's extreme surprise that Apple stayed instead, shouting, "Darling! You have to drop the blade!"

"A good hero never lets themselves be disarmed!" Darling declared, her arm muscles burning as she stubbornly parried.

"Please, Darling, you have to trust me," Apple pleaded. "He's not attacking because we're on his territory... he's attacking because _you have a weapon_. Drop your blade!"

"I can't just leave you defenseless," Darling protested, parrying back extra-hard. "I'm supposed to save you!"

"I'm _already_ defenseless," Apple flung her arms out wide, her palms opened and unfisted. "Please, think about it. He could attack me, and I wouldn't be able to stop it... but he's attacking you, the _trained and armed_ hero instead! Trust me, Darling... drop the blade."

Darling swallowed. How she hated, hated, hated that word: _defenseless_. But, however much she hated being defenseless... she decided, ultimately, that she trusted Apple more. There'd been enough of this strange secrecy between them, and Darling was tired of it.

She dodged the next attack and cast her weapon to the ground, backing away quickly. Her eyes flickered to Apple once more.

"Shhh," Apple laid a gentle hand upon the stagasus' back. To Darling's shock, the murder in the beast's eyes seemed to vanish almost instantaneously, its fangs shrinking back into its mouth and its wings settling upon its back with a great deal less agitation.

The animal released a low whine.

"I'm sorry that I don't speak stagasus," Apple apologized politely. "But I know you're royally smart creatures... your instincts just overwhelmed you when someone brought a weapon to challenge you, isn't that right?"

A hoof toed the ground, and even Darling (who was far from well-versed in the nuances of animal-speak) could tell that it was a remorseful 'yes.'

Apple carefully lifted a notebook and a small device-- a battery-powered GPS, Darling's memory helpfully supplied. Apple really _did_ think to bring everything, she thought, oddly charmed by that musing.

She scribbled some coordinates down in the notebook, "There. Now that I know where you guys live, I can petition our queen to make this land a certified nature preserve... a safe place where stagasi can recover their population in the years to come. I'm optimistic that she'll agree-- she's fairy, fairy big on sustainable sourcing and natural conservation these days."

The stagasus blinked at her twice with big, round eyes. It nudged Apple's cheek with its nose, and then calmly, patiently left.

"Apple," Darling stumbled out of the trees, her shoes getting briefly tangled in the knots of thick grass. "Apple... how did you know that the stagasus was just upset about the weapon?"

"Oh! Um, well, like you said, Charmings aren't usually disarmed," Apple rubbed the back of her neck, feeling uncharacteristically awkward. "I was just doing research after the unfortunate incident that happened yesterday... about how dangerous stagasi _really_ are. There were a lot of old photos of the heroes who rode them back to Book End, and I just noticed that none of them were carrying weapons. However, in order for them to have become endangered because of self defense... someone would have had to have brought some sort of weapon with them, wouldn't they? The rest was just logic."

"My dad always told us, growing up, that a true hero is always brave," Darling pursed her lips. She lowered her gaze, "And... choosing in advance to bring a weapon only implies fear. _Attacking first_ only implies fear. You must think me a terrible hero now, Apple... the stagasus certainly did."

"I don't think so," Apple shook her head. "I just think that the stagasi are smart enough to tell that not all people are capable of hurting them... only the ones with weapons. And besides... you were only trying to rescue me. I think that that's what really matters in a hero... a pure heart, or good intentions. I royally appreciate that you still came, even after... well."

"Of course I came," Darling carefully drew closer to her. "I care about you, Apple. I care about a you _a lot_. I should have just told you before... I should have just told you how much I like you from the start, instead of having you go through all this... traditional wooing stuff. Forget about anything _The Art of Wooing_ ever told you... I promise, you don't need any of it to have a happily-ever-after."

"Oh, Darling," Apple's eyelashes fluttered as she gazed up at the princess. "You... really feel that way? You're not just doing this because you feel obligated to?"

"Maybe I _used_ to do things out of obligation, but not anymore," Darling answered firmly, taking Apple's hands in her own. "Now, I'm writing my own story... and, with or without destiny, I want you to be in it. I was... scared, before. I was afraid you'd get hurt if we were courting. I know of someone who lost an entire _arm_ trying to follow Great-Uncle Passion's hextbook, someone whose burn wounds took three years of intensive potion therapy to cure. I never, ever want to see you hurt like that."

"Maybe you're a little too good of a hero for your own sake," Apple's red, red lips curved into a soft smile. "You were just trying to protect me... but you didn't have to worry. As soon as I got halfway through chapter seven, I realized the entire hextbook made basically zero sense. Challenging a monster that you _know_ you can't defeat? Charge in with as little strategy as possible, to show the extent of your impassioned devotion? Using the humblest weapons you can, simply so that people can root for you as an underdog? I've never read a sillier set of instructions in my entire life!"

"Me neither! But nobody else seemed to think so... I'm all for being as dashing a hero as I can be, but there's a big difference between being a hero and being foolish about being a hero," Darling squeezed Apple's hands in relief. "I was a little... silly today. Can you forgive me, Apple?"

"Of course," Apple gently squeezed Darling's hands back. "Can you forgive _me_ for being a little silly this entire past _week_?"

"Definitely," Darling smiled back at last, and wrapped her arms around Apple in a tight, tight hug. She relished how Apple's face seemed to fit so tidily into the crook of her neck, how soft her waist felt beneath her arm, and for perhaps the first time, she wondered if destiny had somehow _known_ what it was doing.

Apple loosened her hold just slightly, a faint, reddish dusting tinging the apples of her already-flushed cheeks. Nobody expected the next words that came out of her mouth.

"I think I'm burning," Apple admitted. "I forgot to pack sunscreen."

Darling thought she had known Apple, the girl who somehow managed to have a tent on-hand for emergencies. She _thought_ she'd known Apple, until she met the girl who remembered to bring a tent, but had forgotten sunscreen, the most essential protection for the fairest of them all. She had _thought_ before, but now she had _learned_ , and oh! How her heart thumped at the realization that there was still so much more to explore.

She was adorable, Darling admitted to herself. She was completely, utterly _charming_.

"Don't worry," Darling chuckled. "I think I have some back in Herowing's saddlebag, from the last time we went to Mirror Beach."

Apple laughed back, a rich, full sound that warmed Darling like a cup of hot cider.

"My hero," she proclaimed, placing a sweet peck upon Darling's cheek-- and, Darling thought, if that wasn't a sign, she didn't know _what_ was.

She took a deep breath, then grinned back: "Maybe, then, you'd like to have a cup of tea with your hero sometime?"

"Yes," Apple beamed. "Absolutely."

Thus, they wove their way back to the campsite Apple had set up the night prior, finding Herowing and Braebyrn playing together among the apple trees. It had been a matter of coaxing Herowing to stay still long enough to get at her saddlebag, then, and Darling set about finishing the work of packing up the campsite as Apple slathered SPF 50 over every inch of her exposed skin.

Though Darling had seen her do this dozens of times-- in-between classes, before and after Dragonsport matches, in the girls' bathroom during lunch hour-- there was still something different about it, now that they were courting, and she very politely averted her eyes, setting to herself the task of disposing of apple cores and rolling up the miniaturized portable tent.

(Apple whistled sweetly as she doused herself in the lotion to prevent further burning, and it was kind of a little bit adorable.)

* * *

**\-- Darling Charming entered group chat: Where's Apple?\--**

 

> Darling Charming: dont worry guys... i found her. :)
> 
> Raven Queen: that's fantastic! where are you guys now?
> 
> Darling Charming: dont worry, c u at school

**\-- Darling Charming left group chat: Where's Apple?\--**

 

> Raven Queen: darling?? i guess you left... all right, we'll see you both at school. try not to spend TOO much time flirting, ok?

* * *

"Blondie Lockes here with a breaking news report," Blondie grinned into the MirrorPad. "Apple White, having previously gone missing somewhere around two o'clock yesterday, has been reported _found_ by Ever After High's very own Darling Charming, who's already saved her once by administering an emergency True Love's Kiss. What does this mean for Ever After High's latest OTP? Does this mean that Darling Charming has at last been worn down by Apple's sweet courtship gestures?"

"Ahem," the Headmaster coughed, glaring her down.

"Tuneinnexttimetofindout-bye!" Blondie gasped out, all in one breath, directing Humphrey to cut the recording.

The entire school seemed to be out on the front lawn waiting the return of Apple, who had been missing for very nearly 24 hours, and Darling, who had gone seeking her, having snuck off school grounds with more than just a few of her friends in a daring escape the night prior. There was an audience a hundred strong awaiting when at last Darling and Apple touched their dragons down upon the front gate back at school, breathless from mid-flight races and grinning as if there were no tomorrow.

"Ms. Charming," Headmaster Grimm glowered at her when she dismounted. With some small note of shock and disapproval, "Ms. White! I am shocked and abhorred that you snuck off of school grounds after curfew... I suppose we are only fortunate that you both are safe. Two such upstanding students such as yourselves ought to be ashamed!"

Apple looked abashed at such a scolding, by far the worst she had ever suffered. Still, she swallowed, and straightened her back, "I will accept the consequences of my actions with dignity... as every royal should."

"Yes, well, many of your classmates seem to lack such grace," the Headmaster scowled, casting a pointed glance to where Raven, Ashlynn, Briar, Daring, and both O'Hair twins seemed to be glancing sheepishly at the ground, still fully geared in dragon-riding armor. Maddie and Lizzie, though among their number, seemed wholly unashamed by this.

"Well!" Lizzie huffed. "It is hardly our fault for having sought that which was lost! I don't see any of Queen Snow's so-called professional heroes being punished for being out past their bedtime, and as our own efforts were by the far more successful, I simply cannot see why we ought to be."

Maddie nodded, "Makes sense to me."

"Not to mention their co-conspirators," Headmaster Grimm's eyes shifted to another group of students, the most prominent among them being Farrah, Cerise, Dexter, and Cedar. "Apparently, they were all involved in a secret MirrorNet chatroom where plans were made to take into their own hands things best left to the professionals."

"I'm really, really sorry for telling, guys," Cedar looked as if she could have been crying, had she not been made of wood.

"It's all right, Cedar," Farrah patted her shoulder comfortingly. "It's my fault, too... I just couldn't keep the illusions going past noon."

"Oh no," Apple covered her mouth with her hands. "Were you guys out... searching for _me_? Headmaster Grimm, please don't punish my friends for that! I'm so royally sorry... none of this would have ever happened if I hadn't missed curfew!"

"Your decisions are your own, Ms. White," the Headmaster shook his head. "And so are theirs. They could have chosen to stay at school and let the professional hero teams re-locate a missing student. However, as they did not, I will be giving out _sixteen_ Saturday detentions instead of merely one."

"No," Apple insisted, firm and bold and, in Darling's eyes, utterly like the queen she someday would become. "The fault is mine completely. If I have to, I'll serve all sixteen of their Saturday detentions by myself... even if- even if it has to go on my _permanent record_. My friends were only doing it out of concern I'd do something foolish... and I guess I was. Please, _please_ don't punish them just for doing what they thought was right."

"Ms. White, as much as I appreciate your, _ahem_ , suggestion, there are only twelve more Saturdays until the end of the school year," Headmaster Grimm harrumphed.

"I'll serve Sundays, too," Apple offered. "Or nights, or after school!"

Upon seeing the extent to which Apple would go for the sake of all their friends, Darling felt something like pride swell within her chest. She could stay quiet no longer, and shouted, "I'll help. I'll take half of them!"

Apple squeaked, surprised as Darling's arm slid around her waist. She protested, "You shouldn't have to, it wasn't your fault..."

"It's all right," Darling winked at her, wearing a soft smile. "I _want_ to."

"Well, um, then I'll take some of them, too!" Dexter volunteered. He elbowed his brother, "And so will Daring!"

"I will?" Daring seemed briefly shocked.

"I think we kind of have to," Dexter reminded him. "Because Coat of Arms Day is on Saturday, three weeks from now? Mom and dad'll be upset if Darling misses that."

"Oh. Well, in that case," Daring flexed an arm, "Just point me in the direction of whatever needs to be rescued from uncleanliness."

"Well, I've never been one to miss out on an opportunity to volunteer," Rosabella lifted a bucket and a mop. "Count me in!"

"Us too!" Ashlynn decided, lifting her hand where it was entwined with Hunter's.

"I'll glamour things into cleaning supplies!" Farrah offered.

"I've got a wicked-good cleaning spell, too!" Raven added.

Even though she hadn't even been slightly involved, Jillian Beanstalk exclaimed, "Come on, everyone! If we all work together, we'll be done quick as a fiddle!"

"I'll get all the littlest of places," Nina Thumbell grinned, grabbing a mop and promptly shrinking with it.

One by one, everyone that had been gathered upon the front lawn of Ever After High joined their hands in volunteering to save Apple White from the much-dreaded Saturday detention, where one would spend the day cleaning the school, top-to bottom. At last, afraid that she wouldn't even get to serve the detention she herself had volunteered for, Apple White scurried down the halls of Ever After High, a laughing Darling Charming following on her tail.

The Headmaster scowled, "They can't just... _divide up_ a detention among themselves like that! The rules were intended--"

"Oh, Milton," Giles Grimm clapped his brother on the shoulder. "I always did say that rules were meant to be taken with a grain of salt. If there's goodness in their hearts and general repentance, then let the students be."

"Besides," Baba Yaga interjected roughly. "Never look a gift-horse in the mouth. With this many students serving a detention at once, why, I daresay this'll be the cleanest our school has been in centuries!"

Headmaster Grimm frowned, but sighed, "I suppose... this time, at least... you are right. Even if Saturday detentions are meant to be served on a _Saturday_ , rather than _Thursday_."

And so, as the faculty set about joyously supervising the dozens of students they had available as free cleaning labor, Milton Grimm walked the long way around to his office, satisfied for the moment. Thus, it was to his extreme displeasure to see Sparrow Hood seated outside his office-- the usual seat, one which had been placed for delinquents to wait in while the headmaster was preoccupied.

"Sparrow Hood," he scowled, more irate than ever to see him there. "To what do I owe the dubious pleasure of your visit?"

"Nothing much, this time, Headmaster," Sparrow lifted his hands in surrender. " _I'm_ not the one who's in trouble. Besides, I owe like, _three_ Saturday detentions already. It's not like _I'm_ gonna benefit by working an extra day."

"Out with it, Mr. Hood," Grimm leveled sternly. "Why are you here?"

"I happen to know exactly what caused your favorite straight-A honors student, Princess Apple White, to stray from the path," Sparrow smirked. "Or, more accurately, _who_. I've got proof. I _could_ show ya... for a price."

Headmaster Grimm exhaled, rubbing away a migraine. "And what, exactly, is this _price_?"

"The person at fault serves all three of my Saturday detentions," Sparrow leaned against the wall. "And _I_ get off free."

The Headmaster very carefully weighed his choices. He thought upon how very, very dangerous it could be to have an unknown person in the school, intentionally sabotaging destinies and somehow persuading even students as dedicated as _Apple White herself_ to sneak off campus after curfew. He thought about Sparrow Hood's detention-earning infractions-- one curfew, missed by fifteen minutes; two complaints of noise pollution-- and decided he was the lesser of two evils.

"Very well, Mr. Hood," the Headmaster agreed, feeling very much like he'd just made a deal with the devil. "Show me, and if I find your proof is legitimate... you will be free to go."

"Aw yeah!" Sparrow fistpumped. Then, he reached into his jeans pocket and navigated to open a video he'd recorded, the timestamp reading yesterday at about 9:30 AM. "Just hit play. The video speaks for itself."

And so, Headmaster Grimm watched the video. At first, it seemed like a normal enough scene-- Duchess Swan consoling her friend Apple over what seemed like an unfortunate accident that had sprung from her typically good intentions. Then... well, the Headmaster furrowed his brow. There seemed to be a video within the video, and the audio of that recording was nigh incomprehensible. What was clearly visible, however, was the devastated expression that had crossed Apple's face in that moment, the way she'd promptly abandoned her classes as she ran away, visibly fighting back tears-- and then, the cruel smile that had spread across Duchess' face, compounded thrice by her victorious, expressive ballet spins.

The video cut.

"I think it's pretty clear what happened there," Sparrow pocketed his phone again. He shrugged, "I was planning to out Duchess as a bitch--"

"Language!" Headmaster Grimm warned.

"--as a bitch to her Royal friends," Sparrow continued on, unfazed. "I thought it was more merciful to bring it to _my friend the Headmaster_ after Apple wound up disappearing because of it."

"Yes, well, we have a very strict no-bullying-outside-of-destiny policy here at Ever After High," the Headmaster straightened his tie, refusing to let Sparrow get to him. "You can rest assured that your awaiting Saturday detentions will be wiped off your record... and transferred to Ms. Swan's."

"Sweet!" Sparrow air-guitared in victory.

"Just... get out of here, before I change my mind," Headmaster grit his teeth, and made up his mind to assign double-detention the next time Mr. Hood was reported disturbing the public peace. "I have a memo to write."

"Catch you later, Headmaster G," Sparrow winked obnoxiously, but most mercifully left.

At last, Headmaster Grimm settled into his office, giving Ms. Trollsworth the order that he was absolutely, positively, under any circumstances, not to be disturbed for the next half-hour. Thus, he settled in to compose an e-mail...

* * *

 **From:** Headmaster Milton Grimm  < _mgrimm@faculty.everafterhigh.edu_ >

 **To:**  Duchess Swan < _dswan@student.everafterhigh.edu_ >

 **Subject:**  Notice of Appointment with Headmaster Grimm, 3:30 PM Today

 

> Dear Ms. Swan,
> 
> I was recently informed of an indiscretion you committed against another student earlier this week, and I would like to invite you to my office to discuss the consequences of these actions, which have been highly inappropriate for a student of your caliber and position. Here at Ever After High, we take bullying very seriously, especially when its source is a student whose destiny does not entail villainy or antagonism.

> I would like to speak to you about steps we can take to prevent this from ever happening again. Unfortunately, this entails ensuring you have appropriately learned your lesson about bullying other students by providing you ample time to ponder the consequences of your actions. Subsequently, I have penciled you down for Saturday detention for the next three weeks.

> If you are unable to make this appointment, please reply shortly. Having missed the appointment with no advance notice will lead to your guardian being contacted to discuss the matter on your behalf. You will still be expected to attend the three days of Saturday detention regardless of your appearance at the scheduled appointment.
> 
> Your Headmaster,
> 
>             Milton Grimm

* * *

It was odd, Darling thought, how things just happened to have a way of working out. She wondered, briefly, if Cupid was actually psychic, if she had somehow foreseen that _this_ would be their first date.

"Do you mind moving the trash bag a little bit closer?" Apple smiled at her sweetly, and Darling, of course, obliged.

"It doesn't bother you that we're cleaning gum off the bottoms of desks?" Darling leveled her scraper against a particularly stubborn piece, having hefted the entire desk upside-down for a better angle.

"Oh, no, not at all! I love public service," Apple beamed, carefully removing a pile of scrapings into the trash bag with gloved hands. "I'm all right with cleaning, too, since I'm supposed to keep house for the seven dwarves someday... Of course, this wouldn't be my first choice, but it was all that was left at the end... and, well, I'm sure it'll go by quickly if we whistle while we work. I hope you don't mind my saying so... but I'm in fairy, fairy good company, too. So... I don't mind it much."

"Well," Darling flushed, suppressing the faint urge to swoon over how totally adorable that was. "I mean... I think I'm in good company, too. Even if I'm not exactly accustomed to the whole..."

"It's not so difficult," Apple pulled a bottle of something from her ever-present first-aid kit. She settled in next to Darling and smiled, dousing the stuck gum in rubbing-alcohol. "Here. Leave that in for a couple of minutes, and it should be way less difficult to remove."

"Thanks," Darling's eyes flickered up to Apple's, so very close now that they were sitting side-by-side. "Where did you learn that?"

"Oh, Ashlynn's mom hosted a seminar on stain removal for princesses a couple years back," Apple seemed to realize their proximity almost in that same moment. Her heart seemed to skip a beat. She licked her lips, wondering when her mouth had gone so very dry. "She, um, covered several kinds of materials."

"Sounds like it could be useful," Darling blinked, her eyelashes fanning out against her cheek for a split-second before she opened them again. "Hey, um, Apple?"

"Yes?" Apple nearly started.

"Is this a date?"

"Um... well, it's not really conventional," Apple hesitated. She smiled, though, "But you know what? I kind of like that it's different from the whole Hocus-Latte-and-Multihex thing. Besides... it doesn't matter what you're doing, as long as you like the person you're doing it with, right? So... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd be royally okay if this were a date... um, that is, if _you_ are?"

"I am," Darling leaned in closer. "I definitely am."

And, softly, Apple tilted her chin up the rest of the way. Their lips brushed against each other for a moment, and then, with eyes fluttering shut, they sealed it with the softest, softest of kisses.

"Well," Apple breathed. "We kissed... Now, it _has_ to be a date."

Darling laughed, shaking her head so that her hair tickled Apple's cheek. "I guess it does. I swear, the next one'll be better."

"There'll be a next one?" Apple's wide, doe-soft eyes looked at her hopefully.

"Of course," Darling took Apple's gloved hand within her own. She winked, "Maybe next time, we'll even manage to get put on mopping duty."

Apple giggled, "It would be my honor, Darling."

"I guess we'd better get back to working," Darling squeezed her hand before withdrawing slowly. "Or else we'll still be in detention by the time the next time comes around."

"Oh no!" Apple grinned and winked herself. "I _do_ suppose the rubbing alcohol ought to have set in by now."

There was nothing particularly funny about that line, but one look at each others' faces sent both girls into peals of laughter once more, suddenly taken aback by how utterly _easy_ it could be-- the idea of having any sort of courtship ritual seemed crazy, in that moment, as if someone had been silly enough to believe that simply  _being_ together was difficult enough to need an instruction manual. Darling's heart thumped in her chest, and how ridiculous she felt for having been nervous about asking for _this_!

"Ahem," Baba Yaga cleared her throat from the door. "Your _detention_ , ladies."

"Of course, Madam Yaga," they chimed in unison, but another glance at each other sent them spiraling into ill-hidden giggles.

Baba Yaga shook her head and turned away from the classroom, floating over to check in on the _next_ detention.

"I wonder if that's what they call 'young love' nowadays," she chuckled.

* * *

**Epilogue**

* * *

Duchess Swan scowled as she painstakingly chipped a bit of chewed gum off the bottom of a desk... the last bits of work remaining after the school-wide cleaning spree Thursday three weeks ago.

"This is all your fault, you know?" she scowled, glaring up at Sparrow as he leaned in the doorway, inspecting his nails casually.

"I have _no idea_ what you're talking about," he smirked, obviously full-aware of his own involvement.

Suppressing the urge to chuck a handful of chewed gum at Sparrow's face, knowing she would only have to clean it up again later, Duchess grumbled and turned back to her work. "It's the Coat of Arms Parade today, and obviously, I _should_ be outside, representing the Swan family maidens in the Hans Christian Dior dress I ordered _specifically_ for today!"

"Everyone knows that dress is a cheap knockoff," Sparrow spun his guitar around. He jammed a few riffs, " _I wouldn't steal it out of a trashcan, WOAH!_ Anyways, catch you later."

"What!?" she honked, visibly offended. "Where do you think _you're_ going?"

"I'm not the one with detention," Sparrow shrugged. " _I'm_ going to the Coat of Arms Parade... I heard Darling Charming got new armor, and she looks totally smokin'!"

And so, Duchess' voice could be heard screeching as Sparrow Hood exited the school, only to be very quickly drowned out by the sounds of the parade marching down Main Street in Book End.

"Look," Raven pointed out, nudging Maddie ever-so-slightly, "Wonderland's knights are up next!"

"Ooh!" Maddie shot up from where she was preparing (yet another round of) afternoon tea. "How wonderrific they can participate this year... Oh! I think that's Chase! HI, CHASE! THANKS FOR NOT STABBING US IN WONDERLAND!"

"It looks like the... White Knight is next?" Raven furrowed her brow, perplexed. "Huh, that's weird. I thought Darling was marching with the rest of her family, at the end of the parade."

"Pick me! Pick me!" Maddie waved her hand in the air. "Maybe she's doing that time-swappy-thing! You know... with the flippy-hair, everything-moves-super-slow magic?"

"Hmmm... I don't think so. Aren't the Charmings like, super strict about this kind of stuff?" Raven squinted, "Plus, if she was going to do anything like that, shouldn't we have seen some sort of sign of her hair?"

"Who knows?" Maddie shrugged. She wiggled her fingers in an arcing shape, "It's mmmmagic!"

"Those are the Charmings, now," Raven pointed out, waving at them vigorously. "There's Daring, and then Dexter... and I'm _totally sure_ that's Darling in the helmet with the hair spilling over the back, that's _definitely_ not one of her brothers."

"Oh! Raven, look," Maddie giggled, hopping up and down as she waved. "Dexter's waving right at us! He's the one with the big glasses-helmet, right?"

"Oh, yeah, he is," Raven redoubled her waving. She hollered out, "GO DEX!!"

And, at the end of the parade, once all of the walking had been finished, Darling Charming stood side-by-side with the White Knight armor she had worn these past years hence, her new armor seeming altogether impossibly small and lithe in comparison to the armor she wore before.

She leaned up and whispered to that helm which had hidden her so well once. "Thank you again for marching on my behalf. How are you holding up in there?"

A hand twisted the gauntlet in a thumbs-up. A whisper, "I think I would have tripped in this without the horse."

"I know, it's bulky... you get used to it after a while," Darling patted a pauldron. More softly, gently, "Are you at least enjoying it?"

"Oh, yes," the helmet almost fell off from the vigor of the nod. "Maybe not something I would like to do _every day_ , but it's royally fun knowing that nobody can tell who's under all this. It's like the thrill of a masquerade ball, but with more swords!"

Darling choked off a laugh, "I've never heard a more apt description of it."

"It's definitely, by far, the most hexciting date I've ever been on," the anonymous helmet shifted, but Darling could simply tell that the face beneath it wore a red, red smile. "I can see why you enjoy wearing this so much."

An announcer proclaimed, at last reaching the Wonderlandian Houses in the alphabetical arrangement: "Representing the House of the Red Queen in Wonderland, we have Chase Redford!"

There were some cheers, briefly, as he strode across the stage, de-helmeted, bowed, and walked away.

"And," the announcer proceeded, "Representing the House of the White Queen in Wonderland, on behalf of the otherwise occupied White Knight, we have... Apple White!"

And thus, with a grin written across her face, Apple walked halfway across the stage and removed her helm, pale blonde hair slipping gloriously over the white armor she wore. There was silence in the crowd, for a moment.

Then, with perfect ladylike poise, she took the end of her chainmail skirt and, quite properly, curtsied.

The crowd burst into cheers and, in that uproarious moment, Apple looked back at Darling and winked just before trotting off the stage, as if it were some sort of private, intimate joke between the two.

"Good gracious, Darling," King Charming harrumphed from where he stood behind his daughter. "Princess White is such a pleasant young damsel... I simply _cannot_ believe you've dragged her into this!"

"Oh, no, father," Darling smiled beneath her helm, though she held perfect military posture. "I would never, ever _drag_ her into anything."

King Charming lifted his visor and pinned her with a stern look. "What is she doing here, then?"

"Well, you've met Apple before," Darling grinned wickedly. "She loves to volunteer."

King Charming looked as if he were about to say something more, but then the announcer had finished reading off the long, long list of honors that had been attributed to the Charming family, the very organizers of the event, and thus, with a sweep of his cape, he led his family onto the stage. Apple smiled and offered a thumbs up where she waited on the opposite side. Darling, grin hidden beneath her helmet, a subtle thumbs-up back.

 _And this_ , thought Darling Charming, heart beating resplendent in her very own armor. _**This** is what happily ever after feels like._


End file.
